Tag Archives: White House

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets play callers during the first week of the NFL season by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, have received attention from not only the panorama of the NFL, but also the George W. Bush White House. After […]

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Bush To Halt Freedoms For National Security

WASHINGTON – “They hate our freedoms – our freedom of religion, our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote and assemble and disagree with each other.” Those were the famous words of our great leader, George W. Bush in his 2001 joint session of Congress. With the threat of terrorism around the world steadily rising, […]

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Democrats Subpoena Barney

During the Congressional elections of 2006, Democrats assured voters they would not follow in the footsteps of the Republican Congress during the Clinton years by wasting time with frivolous investigations. Less than six months on, they to appear to have backtracked on that promise. Last night, Congressman Henry Waxman, Chairman of the House Oversight Committee, […]

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Surge For Victory

WASHINGTON – President Bush has asked the American people to give his troop-surge plan time to work. Although sending in 20,000 extra troops may seems like W’s most retarded plan since he tried to save on laundry bills by wearing his underwear on the outside of his clothes, a White House source has informed Lush […]

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Iran ‘Probably, Maybe’ Supplying Iraq

In a White House Press briefing Friday, Press Secretary Tony Snow released an overwhelming library of evidence that Iran might be supplying Iraqi Sunni Islamo-Fascists with the explosives they use to blow innocent American GIs to bits and pieces. (more…)

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Al Qaeda Abducts Key Player In Iraq Conflict

WASHINGTON – As Washington seethes with plans to find a way out of the Iraq debacle, Al Qaeda has struck its own blow at the U.S. In its first major operation on American soil since 9/11, Al Qaeda operatives infiltrated the perimeter of the White House and abducted George W. Bush’s staunchest supporter. (more…)

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Lotts of Washington Action

WASHINGTON – Workaholism continues to be in style in Washington as Nancy Pelosi’s Democrats go all out to prove that they are do-something legislators. Lush For Life could not get an interview with Pelosi this week, but Minority Whip Republican Trent Lott had time to talk to us. (more…)

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Mount Hood Hikers Kidnapped By Santa

“MOUNT RIVER, OR – Three hikers that were alleged to have been stranded on Oregon’s tallest mountain, Mount Hood, have been located working at Santa’ Sweatshop at the North Pole. Pacific Northwest Correspondent W.E.B. Dubois cracked the story earlier tonight as he was investigating allegations of a child pornography ring centered at the Pole. In […]

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Truth Serum Administered To High-ranking Officials

LONDON – LushForLife.com can exclusively reveal that a new and highly effective truth serum has inadvertently been given to many British officers. Army doctors, who wished to remain anonymous, told LushForLife.com that the potent truth formula earmarked for express delivery to Guantanamo, Cuba was mistaken as a party stash of ketamine and MDMA that they […]

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Dimpled Chads More Than Just Ploy To Elect Retard

“TALLAHASSEE – Though many people around the globe consider the 2000 Presidential Election a bullshit farce, the true feces is only now beginning to hit the proverbial fan. In Florida, thousands of votes were thrown out as ineligible, as vote counters worried themselves with who the voter intended to choose, instead of who they actually […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]