Tag Archives: VA

Vick Brings Animal-Fighting To Popular Culture

RICHMOND, VA – As alleged dog-fighting conspirator and Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick sat in court for his arraignment alongside his high-priced legal defense team last Thursday, thoughts of his once underground and seedy Virginia dog-fighting ring were not far from his mind. While the accused murderer of canines awaited decision on his court date, […]

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Vick Opens Dog Kennel

SMITHFIELD, VA – Atlanta Falcons all-pro quarterback Michael Vick held a press conference, Wednesday, indicating his intentions to open and personally operate a new dog kennel business out of his Smithfield, Virginia, home. The kennel service will also act as the home for a newly established international underground gambling ring for risk-takers who fancy cockfighting […]

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Debunking Darwin

LYNCHBURG, VA – With the discovery of the Microraptor gui, archeologists have attempted to fill in another evolutionary gap. But the excitement surrounding the world of paleontology has come crashing to a halt. Dr. Henry Rachling, a professor at Liberty University, has made a critical discovery. After years of investigation, Dr. Rachling has discovered a […]

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New Bill To Stem Distraction

LYNCHBURG, VA – The release of a new Lynchburg Police Department study that examined the effects of distractions on traffic accidents has created quite a stir in the small, conservative town. The study, which was conducted over five months and cost 3.2 million dollars, found that 17% of traffic accidents occurred due to men ogling […]

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College Binge Gives Mother The Boot

NORFOLK, VA – The price of middle-aged angst just keeps going up. Menopausal baby-boomers sometimes find that Prozac and Xanax are not enough to ease their course through the rocky passages of empty-nest suburbia. But when they ask their HMOs for help, they get nothing. Wenwei Bleak of Norfolk, VA, recently received notice from Aetna […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]