Tag Archives: TV

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University Police during a question and answer session with Jack Hanna at the Sun Dome. Myers, a senior majoring in anthropology, insinuated that the host of the popular TV show Jack Hanna’s Animal Adventures continued his […]

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Shaping Up For Oscar Season

All this stuff about the Oscars makes me depressed. I feel like a dog watching people who look that good, but my friends love this stuff. Then they still watch the programs where the bitch-face commentators inspect everyone on the red carpet, and rip them to shreds for months afterwards. Not-as-cute-ass-Them Dear Gl-Ass Half Empty […]

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Poor TV Broadcasts Lead To Rash Of Injuries In NFL

“PHILADELPHIA – Further inquiry conducted by the Lush For Life investigative staff has revealed new startling answers to the cause of the recent knee injury sustained by Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb on November 19. McNabb sustained a complete tear to his medial collateral ligament – an injury that will require eight to twelve months […]

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American Troops Are, Indeed, Under-Educated

“America’s troops, vigilant and brave they may be, are, generally, under-educated, yet this fact is being disputed by Commander-in-Chief George “”Dubya”” Bush blindly, as if the act of being in America’s military automatically makes one a well-read scholar of all of life’s intricate and complex philosophies. I dispute this so-called fact, however, not based on […]

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L4L Discovers The One Thing

“I’ve been rereading Marcus Buckingham’s The One Thing You Need to Know… Here’s a guy who worked for the Gallup Organization for 17 years and drills down into the statistics, deeper and deeper, until he finds the critical factor which separates the successful from the mediocre. He can tell you the One Thing you need […]

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Pharmaceutical Companies Slinging Dope

I’m more and more convinced that Big Pharma is in league with the TV networks to ensnare America into its maw. I was discussing this with my friend, Juan, on Saturday. (more…)

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A Flying ‘Fuck’ At Phil Hendrie

HERE – Phil Hendrie, undisputed master of AM Radio comedy, hero to all, savior of children, slayer of elves, wrecker of homes, and lover of the loveless, has announced his so-called retirement from the airwaves to pursue the limelight on television and in the movies, leaving thousands of hardcore fans out in the cold to […]

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Female Hosted Talk-shows Struggle With Drugs

I don’t have cable, thank God, but I still spend an exorbitant amount of time watching television. This is mainly due to an out of control drug problem, no friends, and a general hatred for the world outside. And what could better confirm that the planet is so deserving of your hard fought, blood pressure […]

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Einstein (In)Sanity International Awards

MUNICH – The 2006 International Einstein Awards were presented last night at a glittering ceremony attended by celebrities from around the globe. The awards honor the definition of insanity attributed to Einstein: “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,” and are partly sponsored by Alcoholics Anonymous who uses this definition. […]

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Osama Bin Laden Truce Linked To TV Show

WASHINGTON – An audiotape purported to be of Osama Bin Laden was aired Thursday afternoon on the Arabic satellite news channel, al-Jazeera, making a vague reference to a possible truce with the United States if they pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan. Jennifer Millerwise, Director of Public Affairs at the Central Intelligence Agency, said early […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]