Tag Archives: Rob Johnson

Fundamentalist Falwell Begins Heavenly Coup

HEAVEN – Amidst all the turmoil currently weaving through the political hierarchy in Heaven over the past several weeks, the recently deceased former evangelical/hate monger/follower of Christ, Jerry Falwell, made his official announcement, Sunday, on his plans of running in the upcoming God Election. The announcement has deflected attention from the recent Lush For Life […]

Read More 0 Comments

Vick Opens Dog Kennel

SMITHFIELD, VA – Atlanta Falcons all-pro quarterback Michael Vick held a press conference, Wednesday, indicating his intentions to open and personally operate a new dog kennel business out of his Smithfield, Virginia, home. The kennel service will also act as the home for a newly established international underground gambling ring for risk-takers who fancy cockfighting […]

Read More 0 Comments

Tragedies Form Year To Come In NCAA

BLACKSBURG, VA – Accusations of professional and college sports being fixed and previously arranged have finally been confirmed. The quest towards supremacy in college athletics in the upcoming 2007-08 NCAA seasons is officially underway as multiple major universities continue to endure shocking tragedy after tragedy. (more…)

Read More 0 Comments

Mother Nature And Aliens Square Off

DETROIT – After an unprecedented number of Major League Baseball games during the first week of the 2007 season were cancelled due to a variety of cold and inclement weather , suspicions arose at the Lush For Life Headquarters regarding the true reason for the cancellations. (more…)

Read More 0 Comments

Inane All-Star Game Leads NBA In New Direction

LAS VEGAS – Following the results of the NBA’s annual spectacle of the league’s most talented players, league commissioner David Stern, along with several team owners, are planning to send the once revered, respected American sport in a bold new direction. Though the results of the game are not confirmed (because no one actually stayed […]

Read More 0 Comments

Poor TV Broadcasts Lead To Rash Of Injuries In NFL

“PHILADELPHIA – Further inquiry conducted by the Lush For Life investigative staff has revealed new startling answers to the cause of the recent knee injury sustained by Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb on November 19. McNabb sustained a complete tear to his medial collateral ligament – an injury that will require eight to twelve months […]

Read More 0 Comments

Ask Brett! Volume 5

In a monthly periodical, you, the readers of LushForLife.com, can submit questions to Danny Albertson, and he will forward a handful of them to Brett Favre in their monthly sit down Q and A. Danny Albertson: Another month or so has passed as all of you, like myself, have been tapping our feet and watching […]

Read More 0 Comments

Limbaugh Responsible For T.O. Overdose

“DALLAS – The recent drug overdose by Dallas Cowboys’ flamboyant and outspoken wide receiver Terrell Owens – which was originally reported as a suicide attempt – is now being reported as a botched pharmaceutical and alcohol binge between Owens and right-wing talk radio personality Rush Limbaugh. Initial reports early this morning out of Dallas was […]

Read More 0 Comments

Mathematics: Cause Of Rainforest Destruction

“LORETO, PERU – The main cause of the continuing destruction of the world’s rainforests was discovered, Monday, by an outraged Pennsylvania State University student. PSU student Parker Ramis stumbled across his jaw-dropping discovery while engaged in the middle of solving an algebraic equation. “”I had reached my fifth sheet of paper, and still had more […]

Read More 0 Comments

Inane NBA Finals Have Finally Arrived

DALLAS – Another seven months of painfully pointless professional basketball has finally reached its grand finale – as we, the watchers of this ongoing spectacle, crack our knuckles, pop our joints, and bust our skulls while we line up along the trough; loading up on cheap swill, greasy treats, and various other substances, attempting to […]

Read More 0 Comments

“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]