Tag Archives: Republican National Committee

Supreme Court Shuts Down

WASHINGTON – Last Thursday, the Roberts Court handed down a landmark decision that effectively quashed the desegregation plans of hundreds of public school systems all across the United States. Writing for the majority opinion, Chief Justice John Roberts said that race should not be used in anyway, either for positive or negative outcomes, as a […]

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Republican Necromancers To Resurrect Reagan Tonight

WASHINGTON – Top Republican sorcerers are to gather tonight at midnight beneath the Capitol Rotunda in a rare full Solemn Conclave meeting to attempt to resurrect deceased former President Ronald Reagan, according to multiple highly-placed sources close to the Republican National Committee. The Solemn Conclave would be the Republicans’ first since 1991, when they are […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]