Tag Archives: President Bush

Al Qaeda Kingpin Confesses

GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA – At a closed door meeting of a top secret military tribunal, suspected Al Qaeda mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed admitted to planning and funding the September 11th attacks against the World Trade Center, the 1898 bombing of the USS Maine in Havana harbor, acknowledged his key role in planning the 1941 Japanese […]

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Stem Cells Delicious

“NEW YORK – As the heated debate over whether or not to allow stem cell research rages on in Washington, many are discovering new and interesting ways to use stem cells in applications other than research. “”The law does not prohibit the abortion of human fetuses,’ said A.J. Franks of the Culinary Institute of America. […]

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NAACP Will See Bush’s True African Soul

“WASHINGTON – George W. Bush has always suffered from comparisons with Bill Clinton in the eyes of the African-American community, but at last, he is close to his day in the sun. It was all a misunderstanding. It appears that black Americans were using the wrong criteria to judge how “”African American”” each of the […]

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New Poll Gives New Validity To Polls

IRVINE, CA – Results of the latest poll conducted by the Gallup Organization has revealed that the majority of people in the United States feel that most people believe that poll results are meaningful. Several polls were conducted amongst men and women in various age groups and races, designed to receive a broad, general consensus […]

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Bush Solves Energy Crisis In Gulf

WASHINGTON – President Bush unveiled his new energy plan in a White House press conference, yesterday. As expected, there where no real surprises at the President’s plan to help take off much of the pressure being felt by energy companies after the hurricanes in the gulf coast created massive shutdowns in oil refining capacity. (more…)

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President Tours New Orleans

NEW ORLEANS – President Bush was upbeat today at a mid-afternoon press conference given amidst the muddy ruins of New Orleans, expressing hope that “a better city will soon rise from these ashes.” He outlined in broad terms his administration’s plan to rebuild the city “along the lines of what our marketing guys say will […]

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Zombie Invasion Imminent

WASHINGTON – In a security memo submitted to the White House on Thursday, Homeland Security has warned of a possible attack by zombies on U.S. soil. In response, security execs have asked the president to add another color, gut-wrenching gray, to the Terror-Alert Chart. (more…)

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]