Tag Archives: Porcious Crank

Tragedies Form Year To Come In NCAA

BLACKSBURG, VA – Accusations of professional and college sports being fixed and previously arranged have finally been confirmed. The quest towards supremacy in college athletics in the upcoming 2007-08 NCAA seasons is officially underway as multiple major universities continue to endure shocking tragedy after tragedy. (more…)

Read More 0 Comments

Deaths Of Ford, Brown Prove Shockingly Linked

ATLANTA – The grim news of celebrity death dismantled the rosy glow of the holiday season earlier this week with the breaking news of the untimely deaths of both singer and performer James Brown and former president of the United States Gerald Ford. Americans were forced to take a step backward from their gift giving […]

Read More 0 Comments

Arrival Of Super Pixel Signals Death Of Mega Pixel

“TOKYO – With the arrival of the 2006 holiday season, digital imaging manufacturers are joining together to make sure their customers are able to capture all of their memories without issue. In a recent announcement made by Sony, a secret team of highly-skilled Japanese technicians displayed their poor communication skills while delivering the announcement of […]

Read More 0 Comments

NY Yankees And Al Qaeda Join Forces

“NEW YORK – News of a joining of powers between the New York Yankees Major League Baseball team and international terrorist organization al-Qaeda became apparent, Wednesday, following a plane-crash into an upper Manhattan high-rise apartment building. The plane was flown by Yankees middle relief pitcher Cory Lidle, who died in the crash that was assigned […]

Read More 0 Comments

Black Hole Found By Students In Ohio

AKRON, OHIO – A black hole was discovered by a group of University of Akron fine art students in Akron, Ohio, late Sunday night, early Monday morning, inside of a dumpster behind the Brew Thru liquor store. (more…)

Read More 0 Comments

Florida State Courts Shut Down

TALLAHASSEE, FL – The Florida state court system hit a fatal snag, yesterday, as the state courthouse in Tallahassee was abruptly shut down due to lack of available funds. The unanticipated fallout has caused all judges, secretaries, state prosecutors, and state employees who work at the courthouse to be suddenly unemployed and on the street […]

Read More 0 Comments

God Election Results

LAS VEGAS – Voting results from the God Election ‘05 were submitted to high-ranking electorate officials in both God’s Headquarters in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Central Headquarters in Heaven on Tuesday. (more…)

Read More 0 Comments

God Election Results

LAS VEGAS – Voting results from the God Election ‘05 were submitted to high-ranking electorate officials in both God’s Headquarters in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Central Headquarters in Heaven on Tuesday. (more…)

Read More 0 Comments

High Fructose Corn Syrup Overdose Reported

PRINCETON, NJ – A daily wire report received at LushForLife.com headquarters, yesterday, indicated that a diabetic patient at Princeton Teaching Hospital in Princeton, New Jersey, died from a diabetic stroke, apparently induced from over-consumption of the common food additive high fructose corn syrup. (more…)

Read More 0 Comments

“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]