Tag Archives: PM

April Horoscopes

Aries: The poops you take this month will be the best poops ever! Every trip to the toilet will be a wonderful trip to Happy-Poopy-Magic-Land. Each piece of poop will be approximately six inches long and 3 inches in diameter. Your sphincter muscles will seem to cooperate in an almost supernatural way as they allow […]

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January Horoscopes

Aries: Your life is gay this month. Taurus: On January 29th, at exactly 10:42 PM, the police will knock on your door. When you open the door, they will begin to ask you questions regarding a murder in the neighborhood. You won’t be able to answer any of their questions, and they will leave, only […]

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November Horoscopes

Aries: You have Bird Flu. Sorry. Better luck next time. Taurus: In a bizarre science experiment, you will crossbreed a horse and a wolf. You will dub this new creature with the name “worse.” It will be really fucking cool. (more…)

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]