Tag Archives: PETERSBURG

Local Homeless Put Out In Intergalactic Buyout

ST. PETERSBURG – Over one hundred fifty homeless people were evicted from their tents, Wednesday, after repeated chances to leave were ignored by the smelly group of drunken bums. Tent City, as it came to be known, was home to these vagabonds, until intergalactic real estate mogul Lando Calrissian arranged a buyout of the four-acre […]

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Suicide Line On Skyway Bridge Disconnected

“ST. PETERSBURG, FL – A reduction in county budget in Pinellas County, Florida, has led to the county’s decision to remove the phone line dedicated to reducing possible suicides located at the highest point on the Skyway Bridge. The decision to cancel the phone service has caused uproar amongst several self-help groups and charities throughout […]

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Tortured Man The Artist Behind Stadium Rally Music

ST. PETERSBURG, FL – The driving force behind the random, three-note rally music riffs played at baseball games at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Florida, is not simply a button on a control panel as once believed – in reality, it is Abner McVeigh, a tortured old man who is chained to a cathedral sized […]

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Florida Shark Attacks Uncovered

ST. PETERSBURG, FL – As many people know, there have been an abundance of shark attacks in Florida, recently. As I began to investigate this phenomenon, I was contacted by a bay area man who claimed to have an explanation to the recent attacks. Marine biologist, mechanical engineer, and local town laughing stock Dr. Michael […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro


This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]