Tag Archives: New York

O.J. Simpson And Ahmadinejad In Anti-Jewish Conspiracy

WASHINGTON – To the casual news watcher this week, two stories stick out like George W. pronouncing “incandescent” correctly: Iranian President and international man of insanity Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s visit to New York, and former Heisman trophy winner and slasher-killer O.J. Simpson’s run in with the law. Though the two stories seem, on the surface, unrelated, […]

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Am I Safer Without Lawn Darts?

In the wake of the April 16th shootings at Virginia Tech, gun control advocates and critics all came out to present their political argument on why this tragedy is a perfect example of why their opinion is the right one. Well, you know what they say about opinions: they’re like assholes, everyone has one, and […]

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Al Qaeda Kingpin Confesses

GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA – At a closed door meeting of a top secret military tribunal, suspected Al Qaeda mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed admitted to planning and funding the September 11th attacks against the World Trade Center, the 1898 bombing of the USS Maine in Havana harbor, acknowledged his key role in planning the 1941 Japanese […]

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Deaths Of Ford, Brown Prove Shockingly Linked

ATLANTA – The grim news of celebrity death dismantled the rosy glow of the holiday season earlier this week with the breaking news of the untimely deaths of both singer and performer James Brown and former president of the United States Gerald Ford. Americans were forced to take a step backward from their gift giving […]

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Texas Oil, Prostitution Lead To Coup d’Tet

BANGKOK – A recent investigation conducted by LushForLife.com reporters has revealed the true reason for the military takeover in Thailand. Initially, the motives behind the overthrow of former Thailand Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra led by General Sondhi Boonyaratkalin were unclear, though following an investigation by this news team, the facts are beginning to roll in […]

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NAACP Will See Bush’s True African Soul

“WASHINGTON – George W. Bush has always suffered from comparisons with Bill Clinton in the eyes of the African-American community, but at last, he is close to his day in the sun. It was all a misunderstanding. It appears that black Americans were using the wrong criteria to judge how “”African American”” each of the […]

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Parliament, Proletariat: P’shaw!

The United States of America celebrated its final Independence Day on July 4, 2006. Americans lit their last fireworks and waved their last flags to commemorate the signing of an historic document. From 2007, this date will no longer be a public holiday, as America returns to the British Empire on November 1st of this […]

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Risky Business

CLEARWATER,FL – Tom Cruise announced, today, that he plans on eating both the umbilical cord and placenta after Katie Holmes gives birth to their child. Since no doctor in their right mind would ever let him, or any man, for that matter, do this, TomKat plans to give birth to their child in the privacy […]

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The Lush For Life Interview

…Continued from last week I awoke on the floor of my Columbian hotel room this morning to the buzzing of my god damned cell phone. It was Duncan Idaho, bitching to me about deadlines and due dates and the sort. I rebuked him, reminding him that I was Senior Editor around here, and I’d be […]

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The Lush For Life Interview

I awoke on the floor of my Columbian hotel room this morning to the buzzing of my god damned cell phone. It was Duncan Idaho, bitching to me about deadlines and due dates and the sort. I rebuked him, reminding him that I was Senior Editor around here, and I’d be the one barking orders […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]