Tag Archives: LYNCHBURG

Goodbye, Jerry!


LYNCHBURG, VA – Jerry Falwell, the moral and spiritual beacon for all God-fearing, minority-loathing, gun-toting, Jew-hating, science-snubbing, feminist-fearing, violence-endorsing Christians died Tuesday at 73 from heart rhythm abnormality. The Reverend’s heart failure seems to have been caused by over-excitement during a liaison with one of his many regular Mexican male prostitutes at his office at […]

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Debunking Darwin

LYNCHBURG, VA – With the discovery of the Microraptor gui, archeologists have attempted to fill in another evolutionary gap. But the excitement surrounding the world of paleontology has come crashing to a halt. Dr. Henry Rachling, a professor at Liberty University, has made a critical discovery. After years of investigation, Dr. Rachling has discovered a […]

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New Bill To Stem Distraction

LYNCHBURG, VA – The release of a new Lynchburg Police Department study that examined the effects of distractions on traffic accidents has created quite a stir in the small, conservative town. The study, which was conducted over five months and cost 3.2 million dollars, found that 17% of traffic accidents occurred due to men ogling […]

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Jerry Falwell Involved In Pornography Scandal

LYNCHBURG, VA – August 1st, 2005. F.B.I. officials raided fundementalist Baptist minister Jerry Falwell’s Virginia home at 9:00a.m. F.B.I. agent Mark Mathers received an anonymous tip that Falwell had been filming pornographic movies in his home and then posting them on various websites under the pseudonym Dick Dangling. Mathers insists that he does not know […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro


This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]