Tag Archives: LSD

iPhone To Fuel Steve Jobs’ Brain Machine

CUPERTINO, CA – It’s here! The iPhone has hit the shelves like a heroin-starved junkie hitting a methadone buffet. The Mac addicts are out in force, lining up in front of Apple stores all around the country, scaring women and children with their long hair, freethinking ideas, and dorky t-shirts. Lush For Life, being an […]

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Anxiety Attacks Trigger Acid Flashbacks

OMAHA – As the days of fear and reckoning expand outwards on a United States people filled with dread and anxiety of terrorist attacks, tainted water, and smoggy air, the number of hallucinogenic flashbacks has increased amongst hippies and philosophers alike.   Camera salesman Burt Langolier of Blitz Camera in Omaha experienced a psychedelic freak […]

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Genetic Cause Of Down’s Syndrome Discovered

STANFORD, CA – In a landmark study released, today, in the scientific journal Neuron, scientists announced the discovery of the gene responsible for Down’s syndrome. People with Down’s syndrome have three copies of chromosome 21, instead of the normal two – this is called “”trisomy 21″”. LushForLife.com‘s own hung-over, recovering addict Senior Staff Writer Danny […]

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Are Dolphins As Smart As You Think?

MIAMI – A new study performed at the University of Miami has scientists flustered, leaving more questions about the intelligence quotient of dolphins than ever before. The crazed series of events took place in Leveringtonshire, a small suburb of the large Florida city. (more…)

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US Land Dispute Ends In Violence

TAMPA, FL – A dispute over land rights ended in bloodshed, Wednesday, when two as yet unidentified males claimed their stake in apparently unowned wasteland.  (more…)

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Doctors To Kids: ‘Eat Your Acid!’

BALTIMORE – Doctors at Johns Hopkins University have come out with a press release, Tuesday, stating that calcium deficiency in children is causing many more problems than brittle bones, including near-sightedness, clubbed fingers, brain matter loss, and testicular cancer. (more…)

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Actor Goldblum Founds Charity For National Guard

SACRAMENTO – A charity has been founded in California designed to offer members of the National Guard a more spiritual and relaxed work environment. The charity, founded by actor Jeff Goldblum, in conjunction with Sandoz Laboratories in Basel, Switzerland, will allow all members of the California National Guard to be readily available with Buddhist reading […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]