Tag Archives: Japan

Guns Don’t Kill People

I see the talking heads screaming for gun control. The Virginia Tech shootings have dragged out those god-awful idiots who make the Democratic party look like sniveling, opportunistic, pussies – That’s right Rosie O’Donnel, I’m talking to you. (more…)

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Polonium-210 Poisoning No Political Plot

LONDON – The ambassador of Japan to Great Britain, Mr. Guijin Kusai, came to confess all at the London headquarters of Lush For Life. Kusai looked like an agitated octopus as he floundered about the reception area while he waited to be sent up to my office on the 52nd floor. I stood up as […]

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Kim Jong-Il Gets Penis Stuck In Garbage Disposal

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – As news organizations across the globe attempt to piece together a reason for North Korea’s sudden missile tests over the Sea of Japan, Tuesday, an anonymous source had leaked to LushForLife.com the real reason for Kim Jong-Il’s Independence Day temper tantrum. According to our unnamed informant, Jong-Il lashed out in a […]

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New Martial Arts Style Rocks The East

BEIJING, CHINA – The world famous Shaolin Temple unveiled to the world press, yesterday, that the venerable Head Abbot has discovered an ancient text that could be the ultimate force in martial arts. (more…)

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McDonald’s Diversifies

SHANGHAI – There is a new flavor of experimentation wafting through the halls of power at McDonald’s headquarters. “The old model worked well for so long, but that is changing,” says head P.R. man Mike Mandrake. “Our old commitment to selling the same hamburgers all over the world just is not raking in the cash […]

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Mech Warriors Here

TOKYO – Shocking photos were leaked today to LushForLife.com headquarters of giant, missile-armed Mech-Warriors, which appeared to be fully functional. The Japanese, who for years have been suspected of having a Mech-Warrior program, seem to have finally done it. North Korea, watch out. (more…)

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Crazy Dieting Hits Japan

NAGOYA, JAPAN – A dangerous new craze has swept Japan. A new and potentially lethal form of extreme dieting has caused thousands of young Japanese women to be hospitalized in Nagoya, a city in Central Japan. A spokesperson for the Health Department said that the hospitals cannot cope with the influx of skinny women and […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]