Tag Archives: iran

Jesus’ Son Beaten With Ugly Stick

OXFORD, ENGLAND – Through the historical modern-classic, The DaVinci Code, society discovered that Jesus the Christ and Mary Magdalene had a child – the Holy Grail – and the bloodline was passed down, protected by the Knights Templar. But scrolls found in Iran have shed new light on the descendants of Jesus of Nazareth. (more…)

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Don’t Pull Out Too Soon

Our fearless leader has pledged more troops to Iraq. Well done. A new idea? No. Will it work? Who knows? As a nice, progressive, semi-hippie, bleeding heart liberal I can’t really jump up on my soap box and say, “Good job, Georgie” for sending more of my demographic out to die. So where does that […]

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Iran ‘Probably, Maybe’ Supplying Iraq

In a White House Press briefing Friday, Press Secretary Tony Snow released an overwhelming library of evidence that Iran might be supplying Iraqi Sunni Islamo-Fascists with the explosives they use to blow innocent American GIs to bits and pieces. (more…)

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The Amazing State Of The Union

Ah, January. Those sweltering Florida nights, those cool North Eastern ice storms, and those mild Illinois Winters – weather as weird and nonsensical as the political climate, and by no means less dangerous. (more…)

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Al Qaeda Abducts Key Player In Iraq Conflict

WASHINGTON – As Washington seethes with plans to find a way out of the Iraq debacle, Al Qaeda has struck its own blow at the U.S. In its first major operation on American soil since 9/11, Al Qaeda operatives infiltrated the perimeter of the White House and abducted George W. Bush’s staunchest supporter. (more…)

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Iran Set To Spurn Deadlines

“NEW YORK – The United Nations International Library Council met, today, down by the East River side to discuss Iran’s continued pooh-poohing of international law governing library books. Iran is said to owe $8.6 million in overdue fees from libraries across the globe and have refused to pay the fees or even return the books. […]

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Iranian War To Be Paid For With Porn

WASHINGTON – In the ongoing debate as to whether or not the United States goes to war with Iran in August or in January rages, questions have arisen as to how the greatest President since James Buchanan plans to pay to give those lunatics a damn good thrashing. (more…)

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Bush Wags Finger At Iran

TEHRAN – In a rush story that any journalist should be obligated to write, Iran has figured out how to really piss off Americans, this week, in claiming to have fulfilled plans for a nuclear power plant, complete with excessive waste that can be used for nuclear weapons. President Bush has noted that all options […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]