Tag Archives: God

Former Stars Implicated In Donaghy Gambling Scandal

WASHINGTON – The FBI has accumulated new facts in their investigation of former National Basketball Association referee Tim Donaghy, who was alleged to have participated in sports gambling and point-shaving in the games he worked as an official from 2005-07. FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper, who heads the Donaghy investigation, said to Lush For Life […]

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Goodbye, Jerry!

JerryWinky

LYNCHBURG, VA – Jerry Falwell, the moral and spiritual beacon for all God-fearing, minority-loathing, gun-toting, Jew-hating, science-snubbing, feminist-fearing, violence-endorsing Christians died Tuesday at 73 from heart rhythm abnormality. The Reverend’s heart failure seems to have been caused by over-excitement during a liaison with one of his many regular Mexican male prostitutes at his office at […]

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Happy Birthday, USA!

It’s that glorious time of the year again! Our Nation’s birthday is here and boy, could it use some cheering up. Maybe a present or two – nothing fancy; just some peace pipes, tea cups, sauerkraut, potatoes, and some little wooden shoes (she’s multi-cultural). Yup, grab that American brew, toast the Founding Fathers, praise the […]

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Shaping Up For Oscar Season

All this stuff about the Oscars makes me depressed. I feel like a dog watching people who look that good, but my friends love this stuff. Then they still watch the programs where the bitch-face commentators inspect everyone on the red carpet, and rip them to shreds for months afterwards. Not-as-cute-ass-Them Dear Gl-Ass Half Empty […]

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Surviving The War On Christmas

“Ahhh Christmas… [cough]… Ahhh the holidays. A time for joy, giving, and over the top political correctness. Filled with cheap, tacky lights, obnoxious Wal-Mart decorations, and those awkward moments in the office after you’ve wished someone a “”merry Christmas”” and then forgotten that they’re not one of the homogenized, beautiful, factory-processed Christians that make up […]

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Lord Almighty Comes Out Of Retirement

“RIEGELWOOD, NC – In a stunning act of God, the Lord we all knew and loved back in the Old Testament times made one hell of a comeback. A tornado that ripped through North Carolina early Thursday morning killed eight people and injured many more. At least 40 mobile homes were destroyed in a surprising […]

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Things Continue To Be Stupid

“TAMPA – The LushForLife.com Research Director’s memorandum read: “”Everything is Stupid – Update””. He’s very cryptic. This is fine, because at L4L, we know that our key mission is to prove that everything is stupid (except emus). L4L has a mission, a vision, and values – like all organizations. Like most corporates, we moronically wear […]

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Iran Set To Spurn Deadlines

“NEW YORK – The United Nations International Library Council met, today, down by the East River side to discuss Iran’s continued pooh-poohing of international law governing library books. Iran is said to owe $8.6 million in overdue fees from libraries across the globe and have refused to pay the fees or even return the books. […]

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Vogue Embraces Jeffs As Holy Committee Turns The Other Cheek

“LAS VEGAS – It appears that former polygamist and federal fugitive Warren Jeffs, who was recently apprehended by Nevada Highway Patrol just north of Las Vegas on Wednesday morning, is prepared to enter a new line of work. Jeffs was arrested after patrol officers witnessed his ‘89 Chrysler LeBaron driving down Interstate 15 with expired […]

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Scientists Discover Living Relative Of Homo-Sapien

“LOS ANGELES – In a ground breaking doctoral thesis, UCLA PhD Student Alex Moore claims he and fellow researchers have discovered a living relative of modern humans. Dubbed Homo-Hauliris by the team of Moore, two of his professors, and three Master’s students, the “”living fossil”” may be the single most significant scientific discovery of the […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]