Tag Archives: FL

Spatula Crisis Strikes NASA

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – Panic stuck mission control, Wednesday afternoon, when an experimental spatula was lost on a dangerous space walk. The spatula was developed in Hong Kong by a team of Chinese aeronautics researchers and flown to the Kennedy Space Center in late 2006. Designed for space walk repair jobs, the spatula was made […]

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Alligator Attacks Linked To Religious Extremists

SWAMPWATER, FL – Beads of dew reflect off of the blades of grass in the humid city of Swampwater, Florida, a small ringworm harvesting community with a love for Jesus and down-home traditions. I came here looking for answers… answers to why so many alligator attacks have been going on. (more…)

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Florida State Courts Shut Down

TALLAHASSEE, FL – The Florida state court system hit a fatal snag, yesterday, as the state courthouse in Tallahassee was abruptly shut down due to lack of available funds. The unanticipated fallout has caused all judges, secretaries, state prosecutors, and state employees who work at the courthouse to be suddenly unemployed and on the street […]

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Bad Hair Day Leaves Teen Dead

FT. PIERCE, FL – Another tragic death of a local 15-year-old teen has been attributed to a new hairstyle that has become prominent in the emo/hardcore/gay community. The haircut features long bangs that all but completely block the vision in the left or right eye. (more…)

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Santa Claus’ Letter To Penthouse

TAMPA, FL – LushForLife.com intercepted a letter to Penthouse Magazine written by none other than Kris Kringle himself. The letter was sent via the US Postal service, and had the return address: “North Pole.” (more…)

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US Land Dispute Ends In Violence

TAMPA, FL – A dispute over land rights ended in bloodshed, Wednesday, when two as yet unidentified males claimed their stake in apparently unowned wasteland.  (more…)

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Gloff Hits Rock Bottom

TAMPA, FL – International superstar Jeremy Gloff entered the Betty Ford Clinic on Monday, August 29th, 2005, for an addiction to caffeine. Gloff started his career in Tampa, FL, in the summer of 1993. After three months of playing the local open-mic circuit at various coffee shops, Gloff was offered a $1.5 million contract from […]

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Florida Shark Attacks Uncovered

ST. PETERSBURG, FL – As many people know, there have been an abundance of shark attacks in Florida, recently. As I began to investigate this phenomenon, I was contacted by a bay area man who claimed to have an explanation to the recent attacks. Marine biologist, mechanical engineer, and local town laughing stock Dr. Michael […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]