Tag Archives: Donald Rumsfeld

Irene Rosenfeld Replaces General Peter Pace

LushForLife.com‘s own Gale Force tracked down Donald Rumsfeld with the aid of a compass and a dead rabbit, as bait, for this exclusive interview. Gale Force: Secretary Rumsfeld. Thank you for your time. LushForLife.com is very interested to hear why you have appointed a woman, with no military experience, as head of the Joint Chiefs […]

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Tom Delay Defends Gerrymandering Program

STAFFORD, TX – Representative Tom DeLay held a press conference, today, in an attempt to boost his public image and defend the controversially genius gerrymandering program he implemented in his home state of Texas. (more…)

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Bush Mystified After Colbert Speech

WASHINGTON – President Bush was utterly mystified in the aftermath of cable TV comedian Stephen Colbert’s controversial White House Correspondents’ Dinner speech last week, according to both numerous White House sources and public remarks from the President himself. (more…)

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Bush Wags Finger At Iran

TEHRAN – In a rush story that any journalist should be obligated to write, Iran has figured out how to really piss off Americans, this week, in claiming to have fulfilled plans for a nuclear power plant, complete with excessive waste that can be used for nuclear weapons. President Bush has noted that all options […]

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Terrorists To Patrol Border

WASHINGTON – In a surprise announcement, the Bush administration has released plans to solve both the raging border protection and immigration debate, as well as the international outcry over the treatment of detainees at the Guantanamo Bay detention center. (more…)

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]