Tag Archives: Danny Albertson

NFL Conspiracies Run Rampant

This story was received at Lush For Life Headquarters via wire transfer on the morning of Sunday, January 21 from senior staff writer Danny Albertson.  Mr. Albertson has not been seen for several weeks and has decided to enter into hiding.  In fear for the safety of himself and others, Mr. Albertson’s location will remain […]

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L4L Report From The Mediterranean Sea

The following article was received from Danny Albertson via satellite at LushForLife.com headquarters in Tampa, Florida from the coast of Beirut shortly after Israeli bombing of Lebanon began to take place. We believe Albertson’s trained chimp may have wired the story – so any factual inaccuracies are simply beyond control. “It’s approaching five o’clock in […]

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Genetic Cause Of Down’s Syndrome Discovered

STANFORD, CA – In a landmark study released, today, in the scientific journal Neuron, scientists announced the discovery of the gene responsible for Down’s syndrome. People with Down’s syndrome have three copies of chromosome 21, instead of the normal two – this is called “”trisomy 21″”. LushForLife.com‘s own hung-over, recovering addict Senior Staff Writer Danny […]

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July Horoscopes

Cancer: Your life sucks just enough to consider killing yourself. Wait until later, though, when you are married and with children, so you can screw them out of your life insurance policy at the same time. (more…)

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White House Issues Cease-And-Desist Letter To The Onion

WASHINGTON – The White House, residence of the present resident president, is apparently not amused by the humor site’s use of the Presidential Seal on a parody of a presidential radio broadcast. The Onion, a site much like LushForLife.com, only less funny, has been a long upstanding member of the fake news industry and a […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]