Tag Archives: CA

Jesus Schizophrenic

“BERKELY, CA – In a press release that could change the course of human history and destroy the belief structures of Christians everywhere, Jesus, also known as “”I Am”” revealed late Sunday that he has been diagnosed as a schizophrenic. “”I don’t know much about the whole ‘psychology thing,’ but my shrink tells me that […]

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AIDS Linked To Vegetarianism

BERKLEY, CA – AIDS research scientists have made a new discovery in the origin of AIDS and the HIV virus. After extensive research, scientists have come to the conclusion that AIDS was put into animals by God to punish vegetarians for having mature, adult love for animals; and, of course, for being gay. This is […]

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Traditional Easter Celebrated

ALBANY, CA – After years of Christian-skewed religious celebrations of the Spring equinox, a small community of Californian residents are taking back Easter. The rights that were performed were taken from the most accurate writings available of the Assyrian Queen demigod, Semiramis. John Poikin, of Albany, led the service. (more…)

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Google Plans For World Domination Leaked

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Web giant Google is apparently planning on taking over more than just the Internet. The plans of world domination were allegedly revealed accidentally after a blogger spotted notes in a slideshow presentation wrongly published on Google’s site. (more…)

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Cal Tech And USF Scientists Escape From ‘Black Site’ Prison

PASADENA, CA – Dr. Colin Camerer, Cal Tech professor of business economics, and Dr. Paul Sanberg of the USF College of Medicine, feel lucky to be alive after escaping from an Eastern European “black site” prison. They were reportedly kidnapped and held at this site by unidentified CIA operatives. Rumors of torture are circulating. (more…)

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New Poll Gives New Validity To Polls

IRVINE, CA – Results of the latest poll conducted by the Gallup Organization has revealed that the majority of people in the United States feel that most people believe that poll results are meaningful. Several polls were conducted amongst men and women in various age groups and races, designed to receive a broad, general consensus […]

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On The Set: XXX3

BURBANK, CA – A recent visit to Warner Bros. Studios in Burbank, CA, revealed that the production company, in cooperation with Twentieth Century Fox and Cube Vision, are currently filming the next sequel in the “XXX” action/adventure series. The new installment, entitled “XXX3: Do the Math” (pronounced ‘Triple X Cubed’), has received the financial support […]

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The Pink Collar Takeover Project

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – If you’ve visited a local dance club or actively participated in the college social scene in your area during the last several months, then you’ve in all likelihood encountered the current social fad corrupting the necks of good-natured, drunken college students from coast to coast. The situation has gotten so out […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]