Tag Archives: Arthur Rocks

Fundamentalist Falwell Begins Heavenly Coup

HEAVEN – Amidst all the turmoil currently weaving through the political hierarchy in Heaven over the past several weeks, the recently deceased former evangelical/hate monger/follower of Christ, Jerry Falwell, made his official announcement, Sunday, on his plans of running in the upcoming God Election. The announcement has deflected attention from the recent Lush For Life […]

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Tarantino Announces New Projects

LOS ANGELES – Critically acclaimed writer/director Quentin Tarantino made an announcement, Tuesday, regarding the new film he will produce in the upcoming months. Tarantino’s announcement to Lush For Life came via a live video feed Tuesday morning following an all-night Cristal and finger-slicing binge with Lush For Life correspondent Arthur Rocks and filmmaker colleague Robert […]

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Inane All-Star Game Leads NBA In New Direction

LAS VEGAS – Following the results of the NBA’s annual spectacle of the league’s most talented players, league commissioner David Stern, along with several team owners, are planning to send the once revered, respected American sport in a bold new direction. Though the results of the game are not confirmed (because no one actually stayed […]

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Arrival Of Super Pixel Signals Death Of Mega Pixel

“TOKYO – With the arrival of the 2006 holiday season, digital imaging manufacturers are joining together to make sure their customers are able to capture all of their memories without issue. In a recent announcement made by Sony, a secret team of highly-skilled Japanese technicians displayed their poor communication skills while delivering the announcement of […]

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Poor TV Broadcasts Lead To Rash Of Injuries In NFL

“PHILADELPHIA – Further inquiry conducted by the Lush For Life investigative staff has revealed new startling answers to the cause of the recent knee injury sustained by Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb on November 19. McNabb sustained a complete tear to his medial collateral ligament – an injury that will require eight to twelve months […]

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Limbaugh Praises Michael J. Fox With Fund, Award

“WEST PALM BEACH, FL – One day following the accusatory comments he made about actor Michael J. Fox, right-wing broadcaster Rush Limbaugh followed by creating a charitable fund and scholarship program, and awarded Fox with the initial distinguished award in acting the program plans on giving out on an annual basis. Limbaugh originally accused Fox […]

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NY Yankees And Al Qaeda Join Forces

“NEW YORK – News of a joining of powers between the New York Yankees Major League Baseball team and international terrorist organization al-Qaeda became apparent, Wednesday, following a plane-crash into an upper Manhattan high-rise apartment building. The plane was flown by Yankees middle relief pitcher Cory Lidle, who died in the crash that was assigned […]

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LushForLife.com Officially Obscene

“TAMPA – In a press conference late Tuesday evening, after they had woken up, LushForLife.com, the world famous fake news site, announced that they have officially become obscene. “”We have been informed by Google that we are now officially disgusting,”” said Duncan Idaho, founder and pompous prick of the site. “”Our revenue, which allows us […]

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Jesus Schizophrenic

“BERKELY, CA – In a press release that could change the course of human history and destroy the belief structures of Christians everywhere, Jesus, also known as “”I Am”” revealed late Sunday that he has been diagnosed as a schizophrenic. “”I don’t know much about the whole ‘psychology thing,’ but my shrink tells me that […]

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LushForLife.com Visits Heaven

HEAVEN – A recent visit to Heaven with LushForLife.com correspondent, and close confidant of mine Arthur Rocks proved to be a truly…enlightening…experience. (more…)

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]