Tag Archives: Anna Nicole

Fashion To Fund Terror

osama-bin-here

As more and more celebrities are discovering the cash cow that is the fashion industry, one has to ask the question: just because you wear clothes, should you be designing them? Celebs like Jessica Simpson are finding out that you don’t need to be a talented actress or singer to still make money; a line […]

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New “Price Is Right” Host Drew Carey Is Just Like You!

CLEVELAND – Everyone knows that comedian/actor Drew Carey, 49, has announced that he will be replacing legendary host Bob Barker this fall on The Price is Right. But in a press conference yesterday, the affable crew-cut-sporting Carey revealed why he chose to be on the program. “America relates to me. Anyone who has listened to […]

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2007 MLB Season Preview

TAMPA – As the beginning of 2007 Major League Baseball season looms, we find ourselves in the middle of spring training, with many of the questions that have been asked in seasons past being asked once again, and many of the issues baseball has half-heartedly limped towards fixing still kicking America’s pastime in the rear. […]

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McCain’s Rehab Pick-me-up

People like to be comfortable. Lush For Life confirmed this when we created a thirty-second advertisement for Dodge pick-up trucks. We thought it was hilarious. It featured two 400 pound, truck-driving Muslim lesbians in rainbow burqas. Unfortunately, it really bombed with the focus groups. All the Dodge owners in the audience left in a hurry […]

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The Sensation In The Sludge

NEW YORK – Last week, as the 2008 presidential frontrunners Senator Hillary Clinton and Senator Barack Obama exchanged early blows over everything from comments made by David Geffen calling the Clintons liars to who they thought was going to win the Academy Award for best foreign film, and even over which the bigger news story […]

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Congress To Debate US Non-binding Resolution To Join British Commonwealth.

WASHINGTON – Yesterday, Junior Senator Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) introduced a resolution to debate a non-binding resolution proposing that the US rejoin the British Commonwealth. Our roving correspondent, Arthur Rocks, put on his reporter’s diaper and took the first plane to Washington. He wasn’t hoping for much of a story. He guessed that Jefferson Beauregard Sessions […]

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Inane All-Star Game Leads NBA In New Direction

LAS VEGAS – Following the results of the NBA’s annual spectacle of the league’s most talented players, league commissioner David Stern, along with several team owners, are planning to send the once revered, respected American sport in a bold new direction. Though the results of the game are not confirmed (because no one actually stayed […]

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Dear Dr. Belvedere

Dear Dr. Belvedere,  I am nineteen years old and an aspiring model. Anna Nicole Smith has always been my idol and I am trying to follow in her footsteps. Do you have any advice on how I can go about my career and goals? –Alana Nichole Smythe (more…)

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]