Aries: Unfortunately, your hair will fall out: but don’t worry… it will grow back on your ass. Taurus: Adam Sandler will arrive at your doorstep and play the Chanukah Song in celebration of the holiday season, and for an extra $20 he will also reenact the crucifixion of Jesus Christ in your front lawn for […]
Doctors To Kids: ‘Eat Your Acid!’

BALTIMORE – Doctors at Johns Hopkins University have come out with a press release, Tuesday, stating that calcium deficiency in children is causing many more problems than brittle bones, including near-sightedness, clubbed fingers, brain matter loss, and testicular cancer. (more…)