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The State Of Your Tampa Bay Buccaneers

TAMPA – Following yet another year of plummeting into mediocrity (and the worst season endured by the Buccaneers since 1991) under our fearless and determined leader, Jon Gruden, many fans and enthusiasts wonder just how far the Bucs have fallen, and how short the tightening noose looped around Gruden’s neck has become. The staff here […]

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Vick Opens Dog Kennel

SMITHFIELD, VA – Atlanta Falcons all-pro quarterback Michael Vick held a press conference, Wednesday, indicating his intentions to open and personally operate a new dog kennel business out of his Smithfield, Virginia, home. The kennel service will also act as the home for a newly established international underground gambling ring for risk-takers who fancy cockfighting […]

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Tragedies Form Year To Come In NCAA

BLACKSBURG, VA – Accusations of professional and college sports being fixed and previously arranged have finally been confirmed. The quest towards supremacy in college athletics in the upcoming 2007-08 NCAA seasons is officially underway as multiple major universities continue to endure shocking tragedy after tragedy. (more…)

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The Lush For Life 2007 Mock Draft

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Mother Nature And Aliens Square Off

DETROIT – After an unprecedented number of Major League Baseball games during the first week of the 2007 season were cancelled due to a variety of cold and inclement weather , suspicions arose at the Lush For Life Headquarters regarding the true reason for the cancellations. (more…)

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NASCAR Outed In Terrorist Ring

BRISTOL, TN – NASCAR’s newly designed “Car of Tomorrow” not only provides drivers with a restored confidence in safety, but also appears to be destined for much more notoriety outside the universe of left-turn racing. Following his final victory lap at the 2007 Ford City 500 at the Bristol Motor Speedway, driver Kyle Busch applauded […]

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The Final Bore

ATLANTA – As the incessant screaming and laughter of three dozen drunk chimpanzees finally came to a silence after three solid weeks at Lush For Life Headquarters, we all knew the 64-team field of the NCAA men’s basketball Championship was nearing its end. Now that the Final Four was set, I was sent by Duncan […]

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2007 MLB Season Preview

TAMPA – As the beginning of 2007 Major League Baseball season looms, we find ourselves in the middle of spring training, with many of the questions that have been asked in seasons past being asked once again, and many of the issues baseball has half-heartedly limped towards fixing still kicking America’s pastime in the rear. […]

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March Badness: A New Low In Organized Sport

ATLANTA – Traveling to the site of this year’s Final Four showdown has revealed new facts explaining the overwhelming popularity of college basketball’s annual 64-team tournament. An in-depth investigation conducted by a team of investigators began at Lush For Life headquarters at the beginning of the men’s college basketball season, designed to evaluate the sport […]

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Inane All-Star Game Leads NBA In New Direction

LAS VEGAS – Following the results of the NBA’s annual spectacle of the league’s most talented players, league commissioner David Stern, along with several team owners, are planning to send the once revered, respected American sport in a bold new direction. Though the results of the game are not confirmed (because no one actually stayed […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]