TAMPA – By now, we have all heard Larry King’s ads for the super-vitamin, Ester-C. It is marketed to the old and the feeble (usually mutually exclusive), and is pimped between Paul Harvey segments. Continue Reading

LUTZ, FL – In the ongoing media feeding frenzy that is the latest sensationalized sub-par journalistic pig’s vomit, alligators are this season’s avian-flu, with bags and shoes to match. The continuous flow of dangers described to us by an obviously concerned, albeit psychotic media, have started to sound weak, even to the most paranoid press-passer. Continue Reading

NORFOLK, VA – Creation science looks to move from the category of alleged “meta-science” to full-fledged science, this week, with the release of a series of profound studies. In a lecture at Liberty University entitled The One, Well Documented, Objective, Truly Legitimate View of the Beginning of Time, Dr. Walt Brown, MIT graduate and author of In the Beginning: Compelling Evidence for the Creation and the Flood, released conclusive evidence supporting his controversial theory that the “Red Tide” phenomenon is, in fact, Mother Nature’s menstrual cycle. Continue Reading

WASHINGTON – As the November 2006 elections approach, Congress is calling an emergency session to pass legislation requiring Senate and House candidates to undergo DNA testing. Continue Reading

MALAYSIA – Divers have made an orgasmic discovery off the coast of Malaysia. LushForLife.com rushed me out on the Lear jet to find out more. “It is amazing,” said Sunny, from Sunlight Divers. “I have been diving here for seven years and I never realized…” Continue Reading

AKRON, OHIO – A black hole was discovered by a group of University of Akron fine art students in Akron, Ohio, late Sunday night, early Monday morning, inside of a dumpster behind the Brew Thru liquor store. Continue Reading

REDMOND, WA – In an announcement that shocked the technology sector today, the Garter research company predicted that Microsoft‘s revolutionary new upgrade to the Windows line of operating systems, Vista, might be delayed again. Continue Reading

MIAMI – A new study performed at the University of Miami has scientists flustered, leaving more questions about the intelligence quotient of dolphins than ever before. The crazed series of events took place in Leveringtonshire, a small suburb of the large Florida city. Continue Reading

MELVILLE, NY – A news leak out of Nikon Headquarters in Melville, New York, has revealed a new project the camera manufacturer, in conjunction with fellow photography industry leader Canon, Inc. has set into action to develop the world’s first completely steady, perfected tripod. Continue Reading

YORBA LINDA, CA – You can hear it around the water fountain in any office in America – or at nearly any “adult” social event. Mention a national problem, and the actual (or covert) message is like a heartbeat: shuddup, shuddup, shuddup… Continue Reading