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RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. With announcements for three new phones from Sony, a new HTC Android device, four fantastic looking entries from Nokia and enough iPhone 3 rumors to fill a million bogs, picking the most interesting offering to […]

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Chinese Army Hacks Vice President

WASHINGTON – The vulnerabilities of the United States Government’s computer assets were thrown into the spotlight this week as concerns in and around the beltway began to grow with the surprising announcement that the Chinese People’s Liberation Army, or PLA, had hacked into a network affiliated with the office of Secretary of Defense Robert Gates […]

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iPhone To Fuel Steve Jobs’ Brain Machine

CUPERTINO, CA – It’s here! The iPhone has hit the shelves like a heroin-starved junkie hitting a methadone buffet. The Mac addicts are out in force, lining up in front of Apple stores all around the country, scaring women and children with their long hair, freethinking ideas, and dorky t-shirts. Lush For Life, being an […]

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Debunking Darwin

LYNCHBURG, VA – With the discovery of the Microraptor gui, archeologists have attempted to fill in another evolutionary gap. But the excitement surrounding the world of paleontology has come crashing to a halt. Dr. Henry Rachling, a professor at Liberty University, has made a critical discovery. After years of investigation, Dr. Rachling has discovered a […]

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Near-disaster Results In Medical Triumph

A near-disaster in Tampa’s medical community has ended happily. Several months ago, Tampa Bay nearly lost one of its orthopedic specialists. Dr. J. C. Marcus Asgard III, was having a slightly heated discussion with his wife one morning, when she uttered the fatal words, “Marcus, you’re not God, you know!” Dr. Asgard was so badly […]

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Restore Your Manhood

DETROIT – The H2 Hummer emits 3.5 metric tons of carbon per year (about the equivalent of two cars) and gets a whopping ten miles to the gallon.   On the bright side, the H2’s gross weight is over 8,500 lbs., which means that the US government does not require it to meet federal fuel […]

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Arrival Of Super Pixel Signals Death Of Mega Pixel

“TOKYO – With the arrival of the 2006 holiday season, digital imaging manufacturers are joining together to make sure their customers are able to capture all of their memories without issue. In a recent announcement made by Sony, a secret team of highly-skilled Japanese technicians displayed their poor communication skills while delivering the announcement of […]

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Ancient Find Triggers Genetic Study

“OXFORD, UK – Two new discoveries have been made deep in the oak forests of England. Number one: there are no more oak forests. Number two: there is new evidence to suggest that even 5000 years ago, the world had to deal with lawyers. The discovery was made during an archaeological dig near the City […]

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WMDs Used For Good

LONDON – America is too often labeled the warmonger, the aggressor, and the arms dealer. Guns and apple pie are what America is all about, after all. What some of you may not know is that Britain is also a big fan of things that go bang. For the past couple of decades, there has […]

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Lucky Strike Creates ‘Healthy Cigarette’

“RALEIGH-DURHAM, NC – Did anyone ever tell you about the secret to Lucky Strikes‘ success? Back in the old days, before the Government had realized that the devil lurked inside the evil green weed known as marijuana, Lucky Strike Cigarettes were actually lucky. Once in while, you came across a “”special”” cigarette laced with prime […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]