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Santa Claus’ Letter To Penthouse

TAMPA, FL – intercepted a letter to Penthouse Magazine written by none other than Kris Kringle himself. The letter was sent via the US Postal service, and had the return address: “North Pole.” (more…)

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A Real Christmas For Once

As the debate as to what to call that capitalistic orgy that is the “season of giving” rages on, many seem to have overlooked the real meaning behind the celebration of the “holidays” or “Christmas” or whatever the hell those politically correct morons without enough hobbies want it named. Who cares? What at least should […]

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Israel, WTF?

Many have debated as to whether or not the state of Israel needs to exist, and the answer is simple: Make me the ruler of the world. Now, I know that that’s not really an answer, but there are a few things that I would have done within the first few days of my rule. […]

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How Disgusting Can You Be?

I was sitting on the toilet – my throne, my “Fortress of Solitude” – depositing a (more…)

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Rolling Stones Booked To Headline Super Bowl

What I can’t figure out is: why aren’t people sick and tired of the same thing over and over again? Every year, it’s same half-time show; every time I turn on my radio, it’s the same songs; every time I watch TV, it’s the same reruns. Our country was built on innovation and creativity: the […]

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Soccer: No One Cares

It’s been called “The Beautiful Game”. A game of skill, speed, pretty boys and fans that will kill their fellow man just because they’re wearing another team’s color. And almost nobody in the United States gives a damn. Wake up America!! This is what the rest of the world is doing! How is it that […]

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Oral Sex

There is a type of woman that I am seeing more and more of these days: an unfortunate slag of a girl who is essentially a cock-tease; a walking rape just waiting to happen. These are the ones that start those stupid games like “So… like, where is the craziest place you’ve ever done it?” […]

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Damn Those Radio Shows

I turn on the radio and hear a very well spoken man with a British accent mentioning the word “Mayan”. My ears perk up because I have always had an amateur interest in ancient human culture, and this man appears to be an expert of some sorts and I have never turned down a bit […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro


This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]