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We Told You So

Four years ago, I went for a walk in the fair city of London. More than nine hundred thousand, nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine other people happened to be walking in the same direction as me at the same time. Either it was an amazing coincidence, or as the banners many folks were […]

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Do The Right Really Think The Left Is Evil?

I’m a troop-hating, flag-burning, terrorist-loving, communist hypocrite – and although I only recently discovered this, I know it to be true because I heard it on a Clearchannel radio show. It’s not just me, either; it’s everyone who’s not a card-carrying member of the Republican Party. One of these days, Mark Levin’s whiney, girlish voice, […]

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McCain’s Rehab Pick-me-up

People like to be comfortable. Lush For Life confirmed this when we created a thirty-second advertisement for Dodge pick-up trucks. We thought it was hilarious. It featured two 400 pound, truck-driving Muslim lesbians in rainbow burqas. Unfortunately, it really bombed with the focus groups. All the Dodge owners in the audience left in a hurry […]

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International Relations 101

You guys in the States are kind of confused. You have all these ideas about what the rest of the world thinks about you, but you don’t really understand. An American told me the other day that the dollar would cease to exist as a form of international currency, because the Euro will take over. […]

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Lush For Life Defends Michael Richards

“Shock, outrage, venom spewing political correctness – just a few of the principles that America has come to value, as demonstrated by the mass denouncement of Michael Richards (formally Seinfeld‘s Kramer). Have we really gone so far as a society to not appreciate a good outburst from a half-crazed comedian? Have we all been so […]

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How The Baby Boomers Lost The Election

“Young Americans vote in the largest numbers in at least twenty years in congressional elections. Young voters favored Democrats by a 22-point margin. Okay guys, it’s time to forget about Muslims, Unabombers, and Miami Morons (the ones who thought the FBI stooges were al-Qaeda come to help them blow up America for Jesus). This election […]

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Inside L4L Headquarters

“What follows are the minutes of a high level LushForLife meeting held at M.I.6 headquarters in London on November 8th, 2006 “”Saddam has done a great job, everyone, and we, the United Countries in the interest of freedom and democracy must thank him for his loyalty to the cause. Those of you who have been […]

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American Troops Are, Indeed, Under-Educated

“America’s troops, vigilant and brave they may be, are, generally, under-educated, yet this fact is being disputed by Commander-in-Chief George “”Dubya”” Bush blindly, as if the act of being in America’s military automatically makes one a well-read scholar of all of life’s intricate and complex philosophies. I dispute this so-called fact, however, not based on […]

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Amateur Editor Inundated With Pointless Criticism From Writing Staff

“NEW YORK – Senior Editor of fledgling satirical blog VerbingNoun.com Vance Linsel was found dead, Tuesday, of multiple, apparently self-inflicted ink pen stabs to his neck. A suicide note was left, written with the same pen, stating: “”dear mad mad world I have been doing this for too long. All day thes bastards ask me […]

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Breaking The Constitution

The Military Commissions Act gives Mr. Bush what the U.S. Supreme Court greedily denied him: the right to do basically anything to anyone the Administration deems a terrorist, and ban Internet gambling… which makes total sense. Many Libs are screaming (though not too loudly) that this is a violation of the U.S. Constitution, completely missing […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]