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Dear America, We Still Like You – Love Europe

I feel for you my American cousins; I really do. If this is your chosen reading material, then you may well have heard of far off places outside the Bay Area, like Scotland, Albania, or Tunisia, you may even be able to find such places on a map. You might be capable of conceiving that […]

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Why Won’t We Impeach Dubya?

A recent poll by the American Research Group found that 45% of Americans want President George “Dubya” Bush to face impeachment, and 54% think that Cheney should be kicked out of office. Bruce Fein, the guy who wrote the first article of impeachment for Clinton and a dyed-in-the-wool conservative Republican, is now volunteering to write […]

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America: The Best Wife In The World!

The Editor went roaring though the Lush For Life offices looking for an unoccupied writer. I panicked. I don’t know why I hide under my desk, because it’s the first place he looks. “Did you see the Bill Maher stand-up special?” he demanded. “He was saying that Americans believe that we are the ‘best country […]

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Run Up To The Coming War With Canada

To those of our citizens, and others in the international community who have been assaulted by the hysterical reactions of the leftists to the impending invasion of Canada, I feel an obligation to put things in perspective: a look at the Big Picture. A little recent American history may help explain why the New World […]

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Religious Approach To Road Transportation

The Vatican has examined road use and misuse, and found mankind in need of new guidance in this area. Lush For Life convened a focus group of AAs (Average Americans) to debate the Vatican’s “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road”, and found that they think the bar has been set a bit high. […]

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Happy Birthday, USA!

It’s that glorious time of the year again! Our Nation’s birthday is here and boy, could it use some cheering up. Maybe a present or two – nothing fancy; just some peace pipes, tea cups, sauerkraut, potatoes, and some little wooden shoes (she’s multi-cultural). Yup, grab that American brew, toast the Founding Fathers, praise the […]

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You Don’t Give A Shit About The Value Of The Dollar

[Lush For Life’s Economics Correspondent Edward Payne first submitted this story to Forbes Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Bloomberg Report, The San Francisco Chronicle, The St. Pete Times, The Tampa Bay Business Journal, In the Loop, The Carrollwood Times, The New Tampa Neighborhood News, The Gazette, The Idlewild Baptist Church Newsletter, and The Coffee […]

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Guns Don’t Kill People

I see the talking heads screaming for gun control. The Virginia Tech shootings have dragged out those god-awful idiots who make the Democratic party look like sniveling, opportunistic, pussies – That’s right Rosie O’Donnel, I’m talking to you. (more…)

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Am I Safer Without Lawn Darts?

In the wake of the April 16th shootings at Virginia Tech, gun control advocates and critics all came out to present their political argument on why this tragedy is a perfect example of why their opinion is the right one. Well, you know what they say about opinions: they’re like assholes, everyone has one, and […]

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Don’t Pull Out Too Soon

Our fearless leader has pledged more troops to Iraq. Well done. A new idea? No. Will it work? Who knows? As a nice, progressive, semi-hippie, bleeding heart liberal I can’t really jump up on my soap box and say, “Good job, Georgie” for sending more of my demographic out to die. So where does that […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]