Apr 10th, 2007
Barrack Hussein Obama’s great, great, great grandfather, Falmouth Kearney, came to the US from Ireland in 1850, and suddenly Obama has a new card in the hunt for the vote of Irish-blooded Americans.
Coincidentally, the four-yearly Cricket World Cup has been creating a frenzy amongst billions of people worldwide, and the action has been happening in [...]
Mar 27th, 2007
WASHINGTON – One day following the announcement of Democratic Presidential hopeful John Edwards’ wife, Elizabeth, is afflicted with the saddest of all cancers, breast cancer, the Republican party rebounded with some vote-getting news of their own: every member of the Republican Party, including the Executive Branch, the Senate, House of Representatives, Cabinet Members, and even [...]
Mar 15th, 2007
WASHINGTON – President Bush has asked the American people to give his troop-surge plan time to work. Although sending in 20,000 extra troops may seems like W’s most retarded plan since he tried to save on laundry bills by wearing his underwear on the outside of his clothes, a White House source has informed Lush [...]
Mar 1st, 2007
NEW YORK – Last week, as the 2008 presidential frontrunners Senator Hillary Clinton and Senator Barack Obama exchanged early blows over everything from comments made by David Geffen calling the Clintons liars to who they thought was going to win the Academy Award for best foreign film, and even over which the bigger news story [...]
WASHINGTON – Yesterday, Junior Senator Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) introduced a resolution to debate a non-binding resolution proposing that the US rejoin the British Commonwealth.
Our roving correspondent, Arthur Rocks, put on his reporter’s diaper and took the first plane to Washington.
He wasn’t hoping for much of a story. He guessed that Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III was [...]
Feb 1st, 2007
In a White House Press briefing Friday, Press Secretary Tony Snow released an overwhelming library of evidence that Iran might be supplying Iraqi Sunni Islamo-Fascists with the explosives they use to blow innocent American GIs to bits and pieces.
Ah, January. Those sweltering Florida nights, those cool North Eastern ice storms, and those mild Illinois Winters – weather as weird and nonsensical as the political climate, and by no means less dangerous.
Jun 22nd, 2006
BUTTE, MT – In a joint press conference held on Thursday by the heads of a plethora of terrorist groups, the subject arose of President Bush’s recent Baghdad visit and their renewed vow of solidarity in the complete hatred of the United States and its people.
Jun 1st, 2006
STAFFORD, TX – Representative Tom DeLay held a press conference, today, in an attempt to boost his public image and defend the controversially genius gerrymandering program he implemented in his home state of Texas.
WASHINGTON – As the November 2006 elections approach, Congress is calling an emergency session to pass legislation requiring Senate and House candidates to undergo DNA testing.