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Man Kills God, Self

DUBUQUE, IOWA – In a perception-bending event, the existence of God, Man, and indeed Earth itself has been called into question as God was murdered by a lone, suicidal gunman on Tuesday. The sniper felled The Holy Redeemer with a single shot from a bolt action, military issue rifle and then turned the gun on […]

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Jerry Falwell Involved In Pornography Scandal

LYNCHBURG, VA – August 1st, 2005. F.B.I. officials raided fundementalist Baptist minister Jerry Falwell’s Virginia home at 9:00a.m. F.B.I. agent Mark Mathers received an anonymous tip that Falwell had been filming pornographic movies in his home and then posting them on various websites under the pseudonym Dick Dangling. Mathers insists that he does not know […]

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Zombie Invasion Imminent

WASHINGTON – In a security memo submitted to the White House on Thursday, Homeland Security has warned of a possible attack by zombies on U.S. soil. In response, security execs have asked the president to add another color, gut-wrenching gray, to the Terror-Alert Chart. (more…)

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]