Lush For Life

“DALLAS – The recent drug overdose by Dallas Cowboys’ flamboyant and outspoken wide receiver Terrell Owens – which was originally reported as a suicide attempt – is now being reported as a botched pharmaceutical and alcohol binge between Owens and right-wing talk radio personality Rush Limbaugh. Initial reports early this morning out of Dallas was [...]

BANGKOK – A recent investigation conducted by LushForLife.com reporters has revealed the true reason for the military takeover in Thailand. Initially, the motives behind the overthrow of former Thailand Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra led by General Sondhi Boonyaratkalin were unclear, though following an investigation by this news team, the facts are beginning to roll in [...]

BAGHDAD – As the death toll of American GIs in the War on Terror increases above and beyond that of the number of US citizens taken on 9/11, a few leftist-pinko-nut-cases are suggesting that the War in Iraq might not have been such a good idea. To make matters worse, some of the Jon Stewart [...]

“TAMPA – In memory of the late animal freak Steve Irwin, who was stricken dead by a rogue stingray (or devil ray, if you will), baseball’s Tampa Bay Devil Rays have changed their team nickname from a menacing, sacrilegious “”devil”” ray to the kinder, gentler “”Crikey””. Much like Kansas City’s Chiefs or Florida State University’s [...]

“NEW YORK – The United Nations International Library Council met, today, down by the East River side to discuss Iran’s continued pooh-poohing of international law governing library books. Iran is said to owe $8.6 million in overdue fees from libraries across the globe and have refused to pay the fees or even return the books. [...]

“BOULDER, CO – The alleged murderer John Mark Karr, who confessed to killing six-year old JonBenet Ramsey a decade ago in a statement last week, has recently been acquitted of all possible wrongdoing by Boulder law enforcement officials, allegedly on the grounds of being a complete liar. “”After the conclusion of a recent investigation our [...]

“WASHINGTON – In the wake of the most recent air scare in the UK, the FAA has installed a strict new policy to thwart would-be evildoers, dubbed the “”No Nothing”” policy. Since terrorists have, apparently, figured out how to make anything ever a weapon (box cutters, shoes, batteries, lotions, babies, insane people, coconut rum bottles, [...]

“BERKELY, CA – In a press release that could change the course of human history and destroy the belief structures of Christians everywhere, Jesus, also known as “”I Am”” revealed late Sunday that he has been diagnosed as a schizophrenic. “”I don’t know much about the whole ‘psychology thing,’ but my shrink tells me that [...]

“WASHINGTON – George W. Bush has always suffered from comparisons with Bill Clinton in the eyes of the African-American community, but at last, he is close to his day in the sun. It was all a misunderstanding. It appears that black Americans were using the wrong criteria to judge how “”African American”” each of the [...]

“TAMPA – While the networks scream “”World War Three”” (or Four), the LushForLife.com International Think Tank quietly produced the solution to ending all human military conflict. L4L ITT‘s research has shown that there is an almost perfect correlation (+0.98) between ownership of : 1) a push lawnmower, 2) a refrigerator connected to a reliable electrical [...]