NEW YORK – A press conference held today at Fangoria Magazine’s Park Avenue headquarters revealed the monthly publication’s plans to feature a detailed photo shoot of pop star Britney Spears’ upcoming pregnancy. Continue Reading

CANNES, FRANCE – The red carpet was rolled out, the champagne bottles popped, the tuxedos came off the racks, and a Catholic nun recited the rosary and prayed on the steps of the theater. Continue Reading

LOS ANGELES – The Los Angeles based, nationally renowned sports broadcaster Jim Rome, reportedly, will join filmmaker George Lucas’ creative team in charge of developing the new installment in the successful Star Wars film series. Continue Reading

NEW YORK – David Blaine, illusionist extraordinaire, wasted our time, yet again, as he senselessly submerged his hairy-ass body in a fishbowl of water for a week to be followed by his coup de grace of holding his breathe for an astounding eight minutes and fifty-eight seconds. Continue Reading

CLEARWATER,FL – Tom Cruise announced, today, that he plans on eating both the umbilical cord and placenta after Katie Holmes gives birth to their child. Since no doctor in their right mind would ever let him, or any man, for that matter, do this, TomKat plans to give birth to their child in the privacy of their home. Continue Reading

LOS ANGELES – During a press conference held by actor/director Clint Eastwood in Los Angeles on Sunday, the filmmaker revealed his plans to the physical world to open The Astrelplane Café, a new “other-worldly” café, which is designed to be a safe-haven for varying people, souls, and spirits who travel throughout infinite hyperspace. Continue Reading

HOLLYQUEERWOOD – Hollywood has once again attempted to stab an AIDS-infected knife through the heart of middle-America, what with its promotion, glorification, and recognition of the most despicable type of human this side of a leper: GAYS!

As we roll into Awards Season to celebrate the best of the best in entertainment of 2005, all the biggest attention-getters are based on homos and lesbos and chocolate-train riding cowboys and transsexual he/shes. Continue Reading

WASHINGTON – An audiotape purported to be of Osama Bin Laden was aired Thursday afternoon on the Arabic satellite news channel, al-Jazeera, making a vague reference to a possible truce with the United States if they pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan. Jennifer Millerwise, Director of Public Affairs at the Central Intelligence Agency, said early Friday morning that the tape has been analyzed and it is believed that the voice on the recording is indeed that of the Federal Bureaus of Investigation’s most wanted man. Continue Reading

NEW YORK, NY – Producers of the blockbuster horror movie series Saw, in conjunction with Geffen Records Chairman and CEO David Geffen, are taking the bloody, gore-filled series off the silver screen and have begun production of a lavishly produced Broadway musical adaptation of the original film. Continue Reading

TAMPA, FL – While enjoying my usual drunken Monday evening routine watching the Ageless Bull lead the tormented Minnesota Vikings past the Green Bay Packers on Monday Night Football, my editor at LushForLife.com, Egbert Souse, phoned me with an urgent request. Continue Reading