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Potter-esque Crack for Bald Brokers

Potter-esque Crack for Bald Brokers

Alan Greenspan’s much-anticipated memoirs, entitled “The Age of Turbulence”, hit bookshelves last week. The fanfare surrounding the novel was amazing, with people in some areas of the country queuing for hours in much the same way they would for a new Harry Potter novel. Outside of the Wall Street Barnes & Noble, approximately 400 middle-aged, [...]

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Life After Harry

Life After Harry

It has been a month now since the dust settled after the final, frantic charge of millions to get their clammy hands on the concluding installment of the bifocaled boy-wizard’s adventures. As the last of the particularly slow readers lay down Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the realization that life has been forever changed [...]

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New “Price Is Right” Host Drew Carey Is Just Like You!

New “Price Is Right” Host Drew Carey Is Just Like You!

CLEVELAND – Everyone knows that comedian/actor Drew Carey, 49, has announced that he will be replacing legendary host Bob Barker this fall on The Price is Right. But in a press conference yesterday, the affable crew-cut-sporting Carey revealed why he chose to be on the program. “America relates to me. Anyone who has listened to [...]

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Lush For Life at the Movies: “Sicko”

Lush For Life at the Movies: “Sicko”

The line between being an informed, disgruntled American displeased with our country’s morality and direction, and a flag-burning anti-American meddling detrimentalist guilty of treason is very small. At least that’s what Rush Limbaugh, the religious Right, and “The Silent Majority” believe. Not so much here at Lush For Life. Though we publish “fake news,” we [...]

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Squeal Like a Pig

Squeal Like a Pig

HOLLYWOOD – Alec Baldwin is accused of murdering his daughter and ex-wife to avoid a bust-up with NBC. Just days after Mr. Baldwin’s voicemail to his daughter was released by the highly respected website, TMZ, NBC informed the veteran actor that they were considering terminating his contract with them for the show 30 Rock. Baldwin [...]

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Tarantino Announces New Projects

Tarantino Announces New Projects

LOS ANGELES – Critically acclaimed writer/director Quentin Tarantino made an announcement, Tuesday, regarding the new film he will produce in the upcoming months. Tarantino’s announcement to Lush For Life came via a live video feed Tuesday morning following an all-night Cristal and finger-slicing binge with Lush For Life correspondent Arthur Rocks and filmmaker colleague Robert [...]

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Absorbing the Cockeyed Bask of the Hollywood Sponge

Absorbing the Cockeyed Bask of the Hollywood Sponge

HOLLYWOOD – Most of your run-of-the-mill, fatigued news outlets will be serving up all the traditional yawning commentary on this year’s Academy Awards, consisting of personal attacks at [enter here] and the dress he/she was wearing, as well as your household groans vibrating from your local conservative talk radio dial, giving the bulk of the [...]

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Shaping up for Oscar Season

Shaping up for Oscar Season

All this stuff about the Oscars makes me depressed. I feel like a dog watching people who look that good, but my friends love this stuff. Then they still watch the programs where the bitch-face commentators inspect everyone on the red carpet, and rip them to shreds for months afterwards. Not-as-cute-ass-Them Dear Gl-Ass Half Empty [...]

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L4L Coverage of the Academy Awards

L4L Coverage of the Academy Awards

HOLLYWOOD – With all of the anticipation and speculation surrounding this year’s running of the 79th annual Academy Awards, moviegoers and Hollywood celebrities alike are so perplexed they’ve forgotten their daily rations of wheat grass and Botox in record numbers.The dolls and darlings of the Hollywood world all seem to have an opinion on the [...]

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People Magazine Retooled to Feature Real People

People Magazine Retooled to Feature Real People

“NEW YORK – The insanely popular pop culture magazine People announced on Monday that it would no longer feature A-List celebrities, such as Lindsay Lohan, Tom Cruise, Dave Navarro, Brangelina, and the Olsen Twins getting out of bed, drunk, angry, and at their ugliest. It will now feature normal, everyday people. In the past, People [...]

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