Lush For Life

LYNCHBURG, VA – Jerry Falwell, the moral and spiritual beacon for all God-fearing, minority-loathing, gun-toting, Jew-hating, science-snubbing, feminist-fearing, violence-endorsing Christians died Tuesday at 73 from heart rhythm abnormality. The Reverend’s heart failure seems to have been caused by over-excitement during a liaison with one of his many regular Mexican male prostitutes at his office at [...]

The Vatican has examined road use and misuse, and found mankind in need of new guidance in this area. Lush For Life convened a focus group of AAs (Average Americans) to debate the Vatican’s “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road”, and found that they think the bar has been set a bit high.

HEAVEN – Amidst all the turmoil currently weaving through the political hierarchy in Heaven over the past several weeks, the recently deceased former evangelical/hate monger/follower of Christ, Jerry Falwell, made his official announcement, Sunday, on his plans of running in the upcoming God Election. The announcement has deflected attention from the recent Lush For Life [...]

HEAVEN – A recent visit to Heaven with LushForLife.com correspondent, and close confidant of mine Arthur Rocks proved to be a truly…enlightening…experience.

SWAMPWATER, FL – Beads of dew reflect off of the blades of grass in the humid city of Swampwater, Florida, a small ringworm harvesting community with a love for Jesus and down-home traditions. I came here looking for answers… answers to why so many alligator attacks have been going on.

HEADQUARTERS, LAS VEGAS – A recent investigative report conducted by LushForLife.comcorrespondent Arthur Rocks in Las Vegas, Nevada, has revealed a multitude of evidence implicating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as a degenerate gambler, racketeer, and compulsive sex-fiend.

ALBANY, CA – After years of Christian-skewed religious celebrations of the Spring equinox, a small community of Californian residents are taking back Easter. The rights that were performed were taken from the most accurate writings available of the Assyrian Queen demigod, Semiramis. John Poikin, of Albany, led the service.

LAS VEGAS – Voting results from the God Election ‘05 were submitted to high-ranking electorate officials in both God’s Headquarters in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Central Headquarters in Heaven on Tuesday.

TAMPA, FL – A Tampa man is suing the Catholic Church over the fact that he believes God is stopping him from eating McDonald’s. Mr. C. Karl Khunt, of Tampa, began legal proceedings Thursday against the Vatican after he was confronted by an enraged group of protesters from the Florida Tomato Picker Association, blocking up [...]

LAS VEGAS – Voting results from the God Election ‘05 were submitted to high-ranking electorate officials in both God’s Headquarters in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Central Headquarters in Heaven on Tuesday.