The Vatican has examined road use and misuse, and found mankind in need of new guidance in this area.
Lush For Life convened a focus group of AAs (Average Americans) to debate the Vatican’s “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road”, and found that they think the bar has been set a bit high. Continue Reading

HEAVEN – Amidst all the turmoil currently weaving through the political hierarchy in Heaven over the past several weeks, the recently deceased former evangelical/hate monger/follower of Christ, Jerry Falwell, made his official announcement, Sunday, on his plans of running in the upcoming God Election. The announcement has deflected attention from the recent Lush For Life scoop of a murder committed by the late Holy Redeemer in 1974, and has acted as a breath of fresh air in the hearts and minds of a number of Heaven residents and politicians.

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HEAVEN – A recent visit to Heaven with LushForLife.com correspondent, and close confidant of mine Arthur Rocks proved to be a truly…enlightening…experience. Continue Reading

SWAMPWATER, FL – Beads of dew reflect off of the blades of grass in the humid city of Swampwater, Florida, a small ringworm harvesting community with a love for Jesus and down-home traditions. I came here looking for answers… answers to why so many alligator attacks have been going on. Continue Reading

HEADQUARTERS, LAS VEGAS – A recent investigative report conducted by LushForLife.comcorrespondent Arthur Rocks in Las Vegas, Nevada, has revealed a multitude of evidence implicating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as a degenerate gambler, racketeer, and compulsive sex-fiend. Continue Reading

ALBANY, CA – After years of Christian-skewed religious celebrations of the Spring equinox, a small community of Californian residents are taking back Easter. The rights that were performed were taken from the most accurate writings available of the Assyrian Queen demigod, Semiramis. John Poikin, of Albany, led the service. Continue Reading

LAS VEGAS – Voting results from the God Election ‘05 were submitted to high-ranking electorate officials in both God’s Headquarters in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Central Headquarters in Heaven on Tuesday. Continue Reading

TAMPA, FL – A Tampa man is suing the Catholic Church over the fact that he believes God is stopping him from eating McDonald’s. Mr. C. Karl Khunt, of Tampa, began legal proceedings Thursday against the Vatican after he was confronted by an enraged group of protesters from the Florida Tomato Picker Association, blocking up the drive-thru of a franchise just off of Interstate 75. Continue Reading

LAS VEGAS – Voting results from the God Election ‘05 were submitted to high-ranking electorate officials in both God’s Headquarters in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Central Headquarters in Heaven on Tuesday. Continue Reading

LONDON – The Guinness Book of World Records announced, today, that the Bible (both Old and New Testament) will be included in their 2006 edition for holding the record as the world’s longest running chain letter. The Bible, which has existed for over two thousand years, has been classified by the Guinness Book of World Records as a “chain letter” due to the fact that its message is very clear: “If you spread the word of God, you will go to Heaven. However, if you do not spread the word of God, you will burn in Hell,” says Editor David Goldstein.

The Catholic Church immediately spoke out against this, stating: “The Bible is not a chain letter. We feel that this is an utter tragedy and one of the worst instances of blasphemy that has ever occurred. To reduce the book of God down to nothing more than a chain letter is a complete mockery of God, Jesus Christ, and the entire Christian faith.” The Catholic Church, being the zealous, money-hungry institute that it is, has also threatened to sue Guinness for all of the revenue they will generate from the sale of “The Guinness Book of World Records, 2006 Edition,” if Guinness publishes the book without removing the Bible from its list of records. However, the Catholic Church did offer to only take half of the book’s revenues if they would consider including the Bible as holding the record for world’s greatest book. Continue Reading