Lush For Life

Aries: You will rent the entire line of Hellraiser horror movies and be disappointed by all of them except the first two. Taurus: You will have a dream that you are a tall woman who is disappointed in the size of her large feet. Upon awaking, you will realize it was just a dream, unless [...]

In a monthly periodical, you, the readers of LushForLife.com, can submit questions to Danny Albertson, and he will forward a handful of them to Brett Favre in their monthly sit down QandA. Danny Albertson: I’m sitting down, once again, with possibly the most beloved and adored figure in all professional sports of all-time, ever: Brett [...]

TAMPA – In a press release held Monday held by the International Association Of Masculine Men, a startling announcement was made. According to members Jose’ Martinez and Martin Scott, a woman at whom they were yelling catcalls, such as, “”Hey, beautiful lady!”” and, “”Where you going, pretty momma? Show me a smile pretty pretty!”” where [...]

Cancer: Your life sucks just enough to consider killing yourself. Wait until later, though, when you are married and with children, so you can screw them out of your life insurance policy at the same time.

HEAVEN – A recent visit to Heaven with LushForLife.com correspondent, and close confidant of mine Arthur Rocks proved to be a truly…enlightening…experience.

SWAMPWATER, FL – Beads of dew reflect off of the blades of grass in the humid city of Swampwater, Florida, a small ringworm harvesting community with a love for Jesus and down-home traditions. I came here looking for answers… answers to why so many alligator attacks have been going on.

Capricorn: Take it easy this month. Things that come easy to you will suddenly become more difficult. To relax, you will spend your time watching TV. Some of your favorite shows will include: Leave it to Beaver, Peyton Place, Dynasty, and The Andy Griffith Show. You share your sign with J. D. Salinger.   Aquarius: [...]

BEIJING, CHINA – The world famous Shaolin Temple unveiled to the world press, yesterday, that the venerable Head Abbot has discovered an ancient text that could be the ultimate force in martial arts.

Aries: You are going to find the love of your life this month. But that doesn’t matter… Because of your nature to lose interest easily, you are going to be distracted by flashy objects and get so dizzy that you puke on her. You wanted to apologize, but you already lost interest and wandered over [...]

HEADQUARTERS, LAS VEGAS – A recent investigative report conducted by LushForLife.comcorrespondent Arthur Rocks in Las Vegas, Nevada, has revealed a multitude of evidence implicating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as a degenerate gambler, racketeer, and compulsive sex-fiend.