Lush For Life

I was hiding from the Editor in the basement stairwell, when he appeared beside me and started eating the sub I was saving for lunch. “Gale,” he said in that gentle voice we all hate more than his roar. “I want a story about the people who still support Bush.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, [...]

It’s that glorious time of the year again! Our Nation’s birthday is here and boy, could it use some cheering up. Maybe a present or two – nothing fancy; just some peace pipes, tea cups, sauerkraut, potatoes, and some little wooden shoes (she’s multi-cultural). Yup, grab that American brew, toast the Founding Fathers, praise the [...]

LARGO, FL – The city of progress took another giant stride in the direction of change Friday morning after firing City Manager Steve Stanton for wishing to don a dress and rule the city iron-fistedly as Susan Stanton.
Recently re-elected City Commissioner Mary Gray Black sponsored legislation calling for a removed, cordoned-off section of town, tentatively [...]

NEW PORT RICHEY, FL- Chaos erupted at a local Starbucks after 37-year-old William “Jook-Daddy” Clements allegedly lost his pants while ordering a latte, inadvertently exposing his genitalia to several underage high school students.
Jook-Daddy, advised by his court-appointed public defender to abstain from addressing the media, could not be reached for comment. Witnesses to the incident [...]

CRYSTAL RIVER, FL – Two teenagers put on eye make-up, but still look like jailbait, acquaintances say.
Hilary Sbarc and Veronica Dexter, referred to by their classmates as best friends forever, or BFF, invested in twenty-two dollars worth of eye-makeup last Thursday, in hopes of looking older and attracting older guys they meet at the mall.

“Ahhh Christmas… [cough]… Ahhh the holidays. A time for joy, giving, and over the top political correctness. Filled with cheap, tacky lights, obnoxious Wal-Mart decorations, and those awkward moments in the office after you’ve wished someone a “”merry Christmas”” and then forgotten that they’re not one of the homogenized, beautiful, factory-processed Christians that make up [...]

“PLANO, TX – These days, life at the Clarke residence is much more hospitable than it used to be, thanks in large part to a new series of Mac commercials which humorously differentiate between Mac and PC platforms.

Reginald Clarke, a forty-nine year old accountant, said that until he’d seen the commercials, he’d often fought with [...]

“Rupert Murdoch has decided that we won’t have to watch O.J. Simpson explaining how he might have murdered Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown. With television special, “”If I Did It””, dead, and the book deal ditto, Mr. Murdoch has actually apologized to O.J.’s victims’ families.
Mr. Murdoch also, surprisingly, told Lush For Life that he would [...]

“Something shocking has and is still happening on the streets of London. We have no power over this new movement. It is here and it is here to stay. While we may avert our gaze and try to deny this new horror, it will all be in vain. The Government, in a desperate bid to [...]

WASHINGTON, DC – A special Grand Jury has been convened, and will sit on Monday to hear details of the case against Uriel Smart and Ophelia Payne, arraigned on treason charges for supporting the radical new doctrine of Terracentrism.
To anyone who looks at the world logically (like Bill O’Reilly), it is clear that the USA [...]