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The State Of Your Tampa Bay Buccaneers

TAMPA – Following yet another year of plummeting into mediocrity (and the worst season endured by the Buccaneers since 1991) under our fearless and determined leader, Jon Gruden, many fans and enthusiasts wonder just how far the Bucs have fallen, and how short the tightening noose looped around Gruden’s neck has become. The staff here […]

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Fundamentalist Falwell Begins Heavenly Coup

HEAVEN – Amidst all the turmoil currently weaving through the political hierarchy in Heaven over the past several weeks, the recently deceased former evangelical/hate monger/follower of Christ, Jerry Falwell, made his official announcement, Sunday, on his plans of running in the upcoming God Election. The announcement has deflected attention from the recent Lush For Life […]

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Vick Opens Dog Kennel

SMITHFIELD, VA – Atlanta Falcons all-pro quarterback Michael Vick held a press conference, Wednesday, indicating his intentions to open and personally operate a new dog kennel business out of his Smithfield, Virginia, home. The kennel service will also act as the home for a newly established international underground gambling ring for risk-takers who fancy cockfighting […]

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Tragedies Form Year To Come In NCAA

BLACKSBURG, VA – Accusations of professional and college sports being fixed and previously arranged have finally been confirmed. The quest towards supremacy in college athletics in the upcoming 2007-08 NCAA seasons is officially underway as multiple major universities continue to endure shocking tragedy after tragedy. (more…)

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The Lush For Life 2007 Mock Draft

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Ask Brett! Volume 9

Danny Albertson: Here we are, back from the ancient, backwood lands of Kiln, Mississippi, and back in the cozy confines of the luscious Lush For Life Headquarters in Tampa. I am once again blessed to have the luxury of spending a few small moments with none other than the one and only, the Immaculate Brett […]

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Tarantino Announces New Projects

LOS ANGELES – Critically acclaimed writer/director Quentin Tarantino made an announcement, Tuesday, regarding the new film he will produce in the upcoming months. Tarantino’s announcement to Lush For Life came via a live video feed Tuesday morning following an all-night Cristal and finger-slicing binge with Lush For Life correspondent Arthur Rocks and filmmaker colleague Robert […]

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Mother Nature And Aliens Square Off

DETROIT – After an unprecedented number of Major League Baseball games during the first week of the 2007 season were cancelled due to a variety of cold and inclement weather , suspicions arose at the Lush For Life Headquarters regarding the true reason for the cancellations. (more…)

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NASCAR Outed In Terrorist Ring

BRISTOL, TN – NASCAR’s newly designed “Car of Tomorrow” not only provides drivers with a restored confidence in safety, but also appears to be destined for much more notoriety outside the universe of left-turn racing. Following his final victory lap at the 2007 Ford City 500 at the Bristol Motor Speedway, driver Kyle Busch applauded […]

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The Final Bore

ATLANTA – As the incessant screaming and laughter of three dozen drunk chimpanzees finally came to a silence after three solid weeks at Lush For Life Headquarters, we all knew the 64-team field of the NCAA men’s basketball Championship was nearing its end. Now that the Final Four was set, I was sent by Duncan […]

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“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]