Lush For Life

“LONDON – I was walking down the main road near my house when I came across a fancy looking laptop. I picked it up and pressed the “”on”” button in the hopes of finding out who the owner of this bit of hardware might be. When the friendly looking eagle of the CIA’s home page [...]

The Military Commissions Act gives Mr. Bush what the U.S. Supreme Court greedily denied him: the right to do basically anything to anyone the Administration deems a terrorist, and ban Internet gambling… which makes total sense. Many Libs are screaming (though not too loudly) that this is a violation of the U.S. Constitution, completely missing [...]

“PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – The video feed is grainy, but the scene can still be deciphered: the North Korean scientists appear to be trying to check up on their recent nuclear test, and instead are getting showered with oil. In their recent underground nuclear testing, it seems that a Korean worker dug a little too [...]

“TAMPA – Once well-known actor Wesley Snipes – who used to flaunt himself across the silver screen with a variety of kicks and karate slices in a number of second-rate super-awesome-action yarns – has found himself on the run from the IRS, indicted with eight counts of tax fraud on Wednesday morning, according to The [...]

“Today, I met with town renowned Chef C. Karl Cent, who taught me a fun and excellent recipe that almost anyone can do at home. It’s called the Hard Boiled Egg, and it’s becoming the latest breakfast trend in America. In this one on one interview with Chef Kent, he will explain how to master [...]

LONDON – LushForLife.com can exclusively reveal that a new and highly effective truth serum has inadvertently been given to many British officers. Army doctors, who wished to remain anonymous, told LushForLife.com that the potent truth formula earmarked for express delivery to Guantanamo, Cuba was mistaken as a party stash of ketamine and MDMA that they [...]

“Juan called me. There was a Democratic fundraiser and his double-D Democrette was looking for warm bodies. Would I come? “”You mean she’s looking for warm checkbooks?”” I said, but I went downtown because it sounded cheaper than a new TV set. I’m probably going to throw something at my screen the next time that [...]

“NEW YORK – Responding to criticisms following Wednesday’s tragic accident involving the small single-engine aircraft of Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced sweeping new building code regulations aimed at preventing any further plane-into-building incidents in the city. Former National Transportation Safety Board director Jim Hall told the Associated Press that “he [...]

“NEW YORK – News of a joining of powers between the New York Yankees Major League Baseball team and international terrorist organization al-Qaeda became apparent, Wednesday, following a plane-crash into an upper Manhattan high-rise apartment building. The plane was flown by Yankees middle relief pitcher Cory Lidle, who died in the crash that was assigned [...]

“MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – After devouring the popular Internet free-porn video site YouTube for $1.65 billion, on Monday, Google officials figured, “”Hey, fuck it,”” and bought everything else in the known cosmos, including the offices of LushForLife.com. “”I don’t really know how much it’s actually going to change things, though,”” said me, Dr. Egbert Souse, [...]