Lush For Life

“CRAGFORD, AL – As election results rolled in across the USA, balloons and music soared, and thousands of tons of bunting were not recycled. Candidates wept at the prospect of getting or losing their seat on the gravy train. Misty-eyed idealists cheered the dream of a world where their values and objectives might one day [...]

“LONDON – I, like all upstanding English folk, went out and bought the Sunday paper on a crisp morning not too long ago. That paper was to change my life forever. Squeezed between an article about the ludicrous amount of money that British Aerospace Systems are making due to lucrative U.S. arms contracts and another [...]

“America’s troops, vigilant and brave they may be, are, generally, under-educated, yet this fact is being disputed by Commander-in-Chief George “”Dubya”” Bush blindly, as if the act of being in America’s military automatically makes one a well-read scholar of all of life’s intricate and complex philosophies. I dispute this so-called fact, however, not based on [...]

“CRAGFORD, AL – As L4L‘s loyal readers no doubt know, L4L revealed earlier this year that Aetna has partnered with KKK, Inc. to program their software and telecommunications systems. When our roving reporter Chris Burke followed up this story, a KKK programmer boasted: “”You need a graduate degree, first-rate administration skills, the staying power of [...]

“Something shocking has and is still happening on the streets of London. We have no power over this new movement. It is here and it is here to stay. While we may avert our gaze and try to deny this new horror, it will all be in vain. The Government, in a desperate bid to [...]

“BANNER-ELK, NC – An unidentified motorist is in the hospital tonight, recovering from possible neurological damage after a routine traffic stop turned violent. The deputy involved in the case, Jerry Hicks, described the motorist as wiry and “”hopped up”” on something. “”It was just weird,”” said Hicks. “”He had that shiny jacket zipped all the [...]

“NEW YORK – Senior Editor of fledgling satirical blog VerbingNoun.com Vance Linsel was found dead, Tuesday, of multiple, apparently self-inflicted ink pen stabs to his neck. A suicide note was left, written with the same pen, stating: “”dear mad mad world I have been doing this for too long. All day thes bastards ask me [...]

“WEST SUSSEX, UK – A young girl got the fright of her life, last week, when she discovered a rodent the size of a fat baby compressed within her brand new waffle iron. The young lady in question, who has a part-time job as a prostitute, had bought herself the Waffle-O-Matic brand waffle iron to [...]

WASHINGTON, DC – A special Grand Jury has been convened, and will sit on Monday to hear details of the case against Uriel Smart and Ophelia Payne, arraigned on treason charges for supporting the radical new doctrine of Terracentrism. To anyone who looks at the world logically (like Bill O’Reilly), it is clear that the [...]

“WEST PALM BEACH, FL – One day following the accusatory comments he made about actor Michael J. Fox, right-wing broadcaster Rush Limbaugh followed by creating a charitable fund and scholarship program, and awarded Fox with the initial distinguished award in acting the program plans on giving out on an annual basis. Limbaugh originally accused Fox [...]