Danny’s Sports Box


No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only its 11th season, has found itself ranked #18 in both the Associated Press Top 25 poll and the USA Today Coach’s Poll, the highest ranking the school has enjoyed in its young history… and just in time for the #5 ranked West Virginia Mountaineers to come to town. USF saw their ranking surprisingly rise in both polls from 23 to 18 after dismantling Butch Davis’ mediocre North Carolina Tar Heels squad 37-10 Saturday at Raymond James Stadium. Don’t get too excited about that 18 ranking, just yet, USF fans… a #5 versus #18 looks a lot better than a #5 versus #23. That said, the Bulls do have a solid chance at knocking off the Big East frontrunners for a second year in a row, with a stifling defense that should be able to keep WVU’s vaunted triumvirate running attack of Pat White, Steve Slaton, and Noel Devine in check. If they can force White to pass, the Bulls may be staring another victory against a top 10 opponent in the face…
Throwback throw up… In an attempt to revive a pair of slagging efforts to begin the season, the Philadelphia Eagles took Lincoln Financial Field on Sunday against the Detroit Lions, bearing quite possibly the most hideous throwback uniforms ever worn by any professional team in any sport, ever. All of the speculation surrounding Donovan McNabb’s knee injury and diminishing skills were thrown off with a magnificently tacky thrust, as the quarterback threw for more than 400 yards, four touchdowns, and competed 80 percent of his passes en route to a 56-21 rout of the destined 10-win Lions. Some may say that McNabb just needed time to get back on track after two rehab starts, but in reality, Lions’ defenders were distracted by the awful, vomit-inducing threads pimped by the Eagles – so much, in fact, that many Lions complained about scorched retinas during post game interviews. Whatever the cause for the success, the Eagles should keep these awful threads on their backs, because they are so repugnant…
The tables have turned… Entering the fourth week of the NFL season, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers find themselves tied with their archrival Carolina Panthers in the NFC South with a record of 2-1, with last year’s champs, the New Orleans Saints in the cellar at [0-3, 1-2]. The season is playing out just as history had intended, continuing the pattern of the worst-to-first and first-to-worst the division has experienced since its creation in 2002. Week four will bring the Bucs to Carolina, and if all goes right, Gruden’s boys will lay the massive destruction of dominance down on the Panthers. Fag-boy Jake Delhomme’s elbow will need surgery once the Bucs’ D busts his girly Chicklets and pounds his Cajun-slacky lettuce skull into the turf. Sorry, Carolina, but you gotta own that beatdown… or, God could administer his usual torture on my tormented soul and allow the Panthers to win, just to screw me. It has nothing to do with the teams, talent, or how the ball bounces – its all an elaborately constructed joke, orchestrated by the universe, to persecute me, and force me to continue to self medicate…

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