Run Up To The Coming War With Canada

To those of our citizens, and others in the international community who have been assaulted by the hysterical reactions of the leftists to the impending invasion of Canada, I feel an obligation to put things in perspective: a look at the Big Picture.
A little recent American history may help explain why the New World Order is so necessary. Foremost, it is about our nation keeping up with change. It is about the courage of an elected leader who, when he noticed someone had moved his cheese, replied,
“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, ‘Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.’” —George W. Bush, Nashville, Sept. 17, 2002
Understand that we no longer elect a President every four years; we elect a “Commander-in-Chief.” The modern world demands it.
Over the years, the title “President” has taken on a kind of wishy-washy character, especially since that goody two-shoes “President” Carter won the Nobel Peace prize; whereas “Commander-in-Chief” leaves no doubt as to who calls the shots for this planet’s only superpower.
Back in ancient times, the Constitution required that the Congress shall be the body to declare war. The founding fathers were paranoid about tyranny, and they didn’t want one tyrannical person running around declaring war willy-nilly. So they built in those quaint checks and balances that one reads about in the history books.
The framers provided for change in the constitution by the amendment process. It is an unwieldy and drawn-out process requiring three-fourths of the states to agree on something. A superpower cannot operate with such inefficiency. Osama Bin Laden didn’t have to wait for a three-fourths majority.
In keeping with the American business model, we have drawn our new method of constitutional change from advertising. “Just Do It.” Swoosh, and we did.
Beginning with Korea and accelerating through Vietnam, Grenada, Haiti, Panama, Afghanistan, Iraq I & II, and now Canada, the US of A has kept the terrorists at bay, and the Homeland safe.
We stopped the dominoes in Asia, and we saved our brave medical students who had to study medicine in a third world country because they couldn’t pass the Florida FCAT.
We gave the Canal away, but kept the right to take it back anytime we want, and we got rid of a really ugly looking dictator. We saved Kuwait for the Kuwaiti Royal Family, who left the country and wouldn’t come back until we promised it was safe. We rid the world of Saddam and someday we will find those weapons.
“We ended the rule of one of history’s worst tyrants, and in so doing, we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure.” —George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, May 3, 2003
Having a Commander-in-Chief, instead of a president, streamlines the process of international relations and, in keeping with our primary purpose as a nation; we have turned each war into a profit center. If it’s good for business, it must be good.
Commander-in-Chief has that same ringing sound of leadership as Chief Executive Officer, or CEO. CEO’s don’t have to cater to hundreds of congressmen; neither should the Commander-in-Chief. It will also make the government easier to privatize. The role of the Congress will be that of stockholders (that requires little change) and that which was once known as the “Electorate” will fulfill the patriotic role of Citizen Consumer. Plans are currently being drafted to replace the old fashioned election (which hardly anybody participated in anyhow), and replace it with focus groups. Trials are underway in Florida.
The power given to the Commander in Chief now allows him to handle the Canadian situation. As our Chief said, “Terrorism takes many forms.” The Canadians are selling prescription drugs at prices far below those charged in the US. This is what the Chief means by “economic terrorism.”
When Canada threatened to undermine the security of the United States and its pharmaceutical industry, by selling prescription drugs for less money than Americans, it became a matter of economic warfare.
The Canadians missed the whole point of the free market and the New World Order. “Canada is our market; we’re not theirs,” declared the Chief, in what has now become known as the “Bush Doctrine.”
The intelligence community has provided overwhelming evidence of Canada’s evil plan. Satellites have documented, with actual pictures, Canadian pharmacists smuggling cheap drugs across the Minnesota border while disguised as moose.
Special operations teams of stealth/Ranger/Delta/SEALs/black ops/, in daring raids across the border, have discovered documents from Niger proving the Canadian links to the al-Qaeda network. Vice President Dick Cheney said in a press conference that “there is reason to suspect that Saddam Hussein sent his weapons of mass destruction to Canada.”
On a dangerous nighttime raid into hostile territory, embedded reporter Barbara Walters was able to get close enough to tape the Cannucks without their knowledge.
Cannuck Border Guard 1: “Eh, what you guys want then, eh? You look lost or somethin’, eh? Canada’s that way, eh?”
Cannuck Border Guard 2: “Probl’y lookin’ for cheap Viagra, eh?
I leave you with the words of the Commander-in-Chief:
“We cannot let terriers and rogue nations hold this nation hostile. One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected.”

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