Tarantino Announces New Projects

LOS ANGELES – Critically acclaimed writer/director Quentin Tarantino made an announcement, Tuesday, regarding the new film he will produce in the upcoming months. Tarantino’s announcement to Lush For Life came via a live video feed Tuesday morning following an all-night Cristal and finger-slicing binge with Lush For Life correspondent Arthur Rocks and filmmaker colleague Robert Rodriguez.
Due to the instant critical and financial success of Tarantino and Rodriguez’s newest film, “Grindhouse” – a double-feature homage to low budget B-movie horror flicks of the 1970s – it would appear that Tarantino has the filmmaking talent and know-how to turn the most ridiculous, horrible ideas into silver screen masterpieces. His sudden self-realization is now going to send his career in a bold new direction.
“I have some ideas for new films,” Tarantino said to Arthur Rocks while scraping a finger off his personal cutting block. “I can do whatever I want, obviously, and the stupid Weinstein’s will fund any piece of crap I throw in front of them. My new projects will absolutely set a new standard in movie-making.”
One of Tarantino’s new projects, tentatively titled, “Fertilizer Attacks!” will attempt to tell the previously untold story of the process of grass growing with the assistance of fertilizers. The script, which according to Tarantino took all of three days for him to pen, and will deal with the dueling struggles of fertilizers and ant-piles and their control over grass growth. The film has been allotted an $80 million dollar budget by Miramax Studios, with a string of violent blood-bath battles between competing ant families, offset by Tarantino’s signature style of snappy, hip dialogue between several blades of grass. The cast lineup will include several staples in previous Tarantino films, including Steve Buscemi, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Madsen, and Uma Thurman starring as the heads of dueling ant families; as well as Peter O’Toole, Alfred Molina, and Martin Landau as surviving patches of grass and plants.
The “Fertilizer Attacks!” filming schedule is to begin in two weeks, and wrapping up in early June, leading into the filming of Tarantino’s next project he is currently writing along with collaborator George Miller of “The Road Warrior” fame, currently titled, “Doom of Dust.”
The collaborators new film will attempt to depict the accumulation of dust on various objects around the world in classic slick, stylish Tarantino fashion. Starring Michael Parks as Tarantino’s recurring character Earl McGraw, “Doom of Dust” will chronicle the process of the overwhelming buildup of dust that eventually threatens the safety of the world.
Alongside Parks is James Woods, starring as a homicidal maniac attempting to cover the earth’s surface in dust, and David Carradine, who plays a Buddhist samurai who fights Woods and attempts to save the world from dust takeover.
“Doom of Dust” will have a runtime exceeding five hours, according to Tarantino, and will have long stretches of complete silence, paying homage to the silent films of the 1920s.
“I want to capture the brilliance of dust, and telling this story from a close view without dialogue is essential to captivating its amazement,” Tarantino said.
The film will not be without its moments of violence and gore, according to Tarantino. The plot will lead to an hour and a half long climactic battle scene between Carradine and Woods’ hordes of dust particle minions. The fight will challenge well-known massive battles previously featured in “Kill Bill” and the violence and gore of “Sin City”, and may cause the film to lose its predicted restricted rating, slapping it with the dreaded NC-17 label. The possible rating has not derailed Tarantino, who has received the full backing from Bob and Harvey Weinstein and holds the right to the final cut.
“Some of the film will be elegant and understated,” Tarantino said to Arthur Rocks as the two shared a bottle of Cristal, “but you can’t tell a story like this without hundreds of thousands of gallons of blood.”
“Doom of Dust” will conclude filming at the end of the summer, and both films are scheduled to be released as another double feature worldwide on Christmas Day 2007, right in the heart of Oscar season.

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