Archive | March, 2007
The Sensation in the Sludge

The Sensation in the Sludge

NEW YORK – Last week, as the 2008 presidential frontrunners Senator Hillary Clinton and Senator Barack Obama exchanged early blows over everything from comments made by David Geffen calling the Clintons liars to who they thought was going to win the Academy Award for best foreign film, and even over which the bigger news story [...]

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Intellectual Wigger Faces Indecent Exposure Charges

Intellectual Wigger Faces Indecent Exposure Charges

NEW PORT RICHEY, FL- Chaos erupted at a local Starbucks after 37-year-old William “Jook-Daddy” Clements allegedly lost his pants while ordering a latte, inadvertently exposing his genitalia to several underage high school students. Jook-Daddy, advised by his court-appointed public defender to abstain from addressing the media, could not be reached for comment. Witnesses to the [...]

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Absorbing the Cockeyed Bask of the Hollywood Sponge

Absorbing the Cockeyed Bask of the Hollywood Sponge

HOLLYWOOD – Most of your run-of-the-mill, fatigued news outlets will be serving up all the traditional yawning commentary on this year’s Academy Awards, consisting of personal attacks at [enter here] and the dress he/she was wearing, as well as your household groans vibrating from your local conservative talk radio dial, giving the bulk of the [...]

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Congress to debate US non-binding resolution to join British Commonwealth.

Congress to debate US non-binding resolution to join British Commonwealth.

WASHINGTON – Yesterday, Junior Senator Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) introduced a resolution to debate a non-binding resolution proposing that the US rejoin the British Commonwealth. Our roving correspondent, Arthur Rocks, put on his reporter’s diaper and took the first plane to Washington. He wasn’t hoping for much of a story. He guessed that Jefferson Beauregard Sessions [...]

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Inane All-Star Game Leads NBA in New Direction

Inane All-Star Game Leads NBA in New Direction

LAS VEGAS – Following the results of the NBA’s annual spectacle of the league’s most talented players, league commissioner David Stern, along with several team owners, are planning to send the once revered, respected American sport in a bold new direction. Though the results of the game are not confirmed (because no one actually stayed [...]

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International Relations 101

International Relations 101

You guys in the States are kind of confused. You have all these ideas about what the rest of the world thinks about you, but you don’t really understand. An American told me the other day that the dollar would cease to exist as a form of international currency, because the Euro will take over. [...]

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Ask Brett! Volume 8

Ask Brett! Volume 8

In a monthly periodical, you, the readers of Lush For Life, can submit questions to Danny Albertson, which he will forward on to Brett Favre, in their ongoing conversations.

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