Iran ‘Probably, Maybe’ Supplying Iraq

In a White House Press briefing Friday, Press Secretary Tony Snow released an overwhelming library of evidence that Iran might be supplying Iraqi Sunni Islamo-Fascists with the explosives they use to blow innocent American GIs to bits and pieces.

According to Lush For Life’s chief military analyst, Gridiron General Rob Johnson – who spent hours digging through piles of papers, poring over vaguely worded charts and fondling CIA evidence – concurred with the report. 

“There is a very real and dangerous threat that these bomb fragments may have come from Iran, dude,” said Johnson.

After Lush For Life lab apes closely examined fragments of the bombs it was revealed that one of the thousands of fragments bore the words, written in English, “Made in Iran”. 

Chief White House officials are remaining tight-lipped about possible reaction to the findings but lead Bush consultant Henry Kissinger granted Lush For Life an exclusive interview. 

Lush For Life White House correspondent Arthur Rocks asked Kissinger 23 questions of various levels of length and difficulty.

“Carpet bomb,” is the only response he gave.

In an intimate press conference held in the Lincoln Bathroom, our glorious leader, President George W. Bush was overheard saying, “Now, Hank, pretend these rubber duckies are Iranian terrersts [sic], and this boat is the righteous hand of Amuric’n vengeance. These suds are explosions and that there is a rocket. The water is Iran (words obscured by splashing). We’re gonna bomb the whole shit.”

According to White House Chief of Culinary Operations Falun S. Oufflé, these newest plans are eerily reminiscent of another scandal concerning what he called, “a rush to action on shaky information.”

In June of 2003, the righteously justified Bush administration dismissed head White House Pastry Chef Fredrich Markels, citing allegations that Markels “nearly, almost definitely” had connections with the socialist-liberal Democratic Party, said Oufflé.

“That sumbitch was poisoning my lemon meringue tartlets. I couldn’t abide by it and I heard he was a communist, too. Maybe gay,” Bush said.

One year later, after an exhaustive background check, Markels voting records revealed that he had voted Republican since 1974.

Adjectives from FOX News were used in this report.



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