Dec 29th, 2006
ATLANTA – The grim news of celebrity death dismantled the rosy glow of the holiday season earlier this week with the breaking news of the untimely deaths of both singer and performer James Brown and former president of the United States Gerald Ford. Americans were forced to take a step backward from their gift [...]
DETROIT – The H2 Hummer emits 3.5 metric tons of carbon per year (about the equivalent of two cars) and gets a whopping ten miles to the gallon.
On the bright side, the H2’s gross weight is over 8,500 [...]
NORTH POLE – Shocking news of slavery and cruelty has come to light at the start of the festive season. Santa Claus has been arrested for crimes against Elves. The newly ratified laws on Elf, Pixie, and Fairy Rights became law late last week. Since that time, a team of lawyers who have been the [...]
Dr. Audrielle Belvedere is the resident Psychoanalyst at LushForLife.com’s main headquarters in Tampa, Florida. She will be answering your questions in a semi-regular fashion, giving blunt, frank advice to the sick minds that patronize the pages of L4L.
Dec 20th, 2006
“HYANNIS PORT, MA – Christmas has come under fire from all sides again this season as Green Party faggots try their best to hide Christmas trees in the closet, wedged tightly between the Ten Commandments and their sexuality.
However, the assault has proven multi-tiered this year, as some traditionally Jesus-hating, limp-wristed liberals are pretending to join [...]
“Ahhh Christmas… [cough]… Ahhh the holidays. A time for joy, giving, and over the top political correctness. Filled with cheap, tacky lights, obnoxious Wal-Mart decorations, and those awkward moments in the office after you’ve wished someone a “”merry Christmas”” and then forgotten that they’re not one of the homogenized, beautiful, factory-processed Christians that make up [...]
“TOKYO – With the arrival of the 2006 holiday season, digital imaging manufacturers are joining together to make sure their customers are able to capture all of their memories without issue.
In a recent announcement made by Sony, a secret team of highly-skilled Japanese technicians displayed their poor communication skills while delivering the announcement of the [...]
“MOUNT RIVER, OR – Three hikers that were alleged to have been stranded on Oregon’s tallest mountain, Mount Hood, have been located working at Santa’ Sweatshop at the North Pole.
Pacific Northwest Correspondent W.E.B. Dubois cracked the story earlier tonight as he was investigating allegations of a child pornography ring centered at the Pole.
In my attempts [...]
Dec 10th, 2006
Lush For Life, the Internet’s premiere site for all things bold, comedic, original, and fake, is taking one more shot at arch-rival TheOnion by jumping head-first into the unknown and oversaturated market of newsprint.
Beginning in January, you will be able to pick up a copy of this fine publication at local hot spots and [...]
“WESLEY CHAPEL, FL – 42 year-old Renee Knowles, a recent divorcee, purchased an orange tabby cat yesterday in an attempt to stave off what Knowles described as “”the emptiness that is my [her] life””.
According to Ms. Knowles, who currently works as a salon technician at Fantastic Sam’s, the divorce proceedings separating her from husband [...]