Spain, Italy, France Unveil Strategy For Peace In The Middle East

“MADRID – An international committee consisting of top delegates from the three largest military powers on the planet, Spain, Italy, and France (collectively know as the Three Amigos), have come up with a brilliant plan for a cease-fire agreement between Palestinians and Israel.

The plan, codenamed “”Operation Lapdog””, is being hailed by the United Nations as “”the most levelheaded, effective, and obvious”” plan for peace put forth since the United States’ invasion of Iraq.

“”We think that ‘Operation Lapdog’ is the only way to assure peace between the peoples of so-called ‘Palestine’ and the Jews,”” said Spanish President Rodriguez Zapatero of the strategy.

“”Operation Lapdog”” calls for Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas and Prime Minister Ehud Olmert of Israel to meet on conspicuous, neutral ground, each bearing a flag representative of their respective nation.

They will then lay their colors on the ground in front of each other and take turns shitting on their own flags as a sign of respect.

After the first round of turd plopping, they will then break for a short lunch, consisting of leftover bean burritos from Taco Bell. They will then reconvene to continue the feces festival, this time shitting on their opponent’s flag and loaf.

After the rounds of poop laying are complete, they will then roll around together in a naked embrace, smearing evacuated bowel soup all over each other’s testicles.

As the sun begins to set, they will shake hands, dance the Icky Shuffle, and return home to declare a cease-fire and everlasting peace amongst their people.

’Hell, I think it’s a great idea,’ said President George ‘Dubya’ Bush. ‘Sometimes, me and ol’ Laura’ll get in a fight, and the only way to decide who wins is to spray diarrhea at each other. It’s the way God intended for it to be.’

The ceremony is to take place on November 25.

Comments

comments

Tags: , , , , ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]