Lush For Life (Formerly LushForLife.com) Declares Bankruptcy, Defeat In Wake Of Mid-term Elections

“TAMPA – As the polls closed, Tuesday night, a somber, depressing fog rolled into Lush For Life headquarters. We all knew that our time had come. The end of the road was in sight, and some of us, the more delusional ones, knew that or demise was of our own doing.

Years of bashing, trashing, and mashing GOP members and politics had run its circle. As sure as the Republicans waltzed out of Washington, however graciously, Lush For Life was also on its way out. One too many jokes about Donald Rumsfeld, perhaps, and it all comes tumbling down.

Lush For Life has filed for bankruptcy protection in light of the new blue United States government. No more calling for the Republican heads to be severed from their fat, greasy, bloated, impotent, gay, pederast bodies, as they are all heading for the sweet life, sipping rum runners in West Palm and filling in correspondent seats at the good old Fox News Network.

The country is headed in a new direction, as “”Dubya””, our last remaining source of fodder, contends, and Lush For Life was, sadly, not built for that. Lush For Life is a Red Party Killing Machine, designed to target and take down (satirically) the biggest wigs in America’s government.

We tried to make it work, but found that there are only seventeen remaining jokes about ‘Dubya’ that have not been written, with thousands potentially lost as the Republicans hand over their power.

Minutes before we decided to call it quits, correspondent Rob Johnson suggested that we could still sell ad space and maintain web hits by switching party affiliation from NONE to REP and begin to destroy the Dems by poking fun at pretty-boy John Kerry and poster of rationalism Howard Dean, but we fired him immediately, pointing out that this press affiliate, nay, this great country was not built on a pack of lies, but the blood of thousands of innocent minorities.

KKK, Inc. has expressed an interest in purchasing Lush For Life to keep us from hells fiery pits, but a partnership with the Grand Dragon CEO was only likely to drive us down the path of racism and partnerships with the truly evil insurance companies, such as Aetna.

In the end, the best bet was to pack the bags, dust off the horses, and ride into the sunset with our fingers up our ass and our dignity in tact.

EGBERT SOUS», SENIOR EDITOR OF LUSH FOR LIFE, SIGNING OFF? FOR THE LAST TIME.

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