Ask Brett! Volume 6

In a monthly periodical, you, the readers of LushForLife, can submit questions to Danny Albertson, and he will forward a handful of them to Brett Favre in their monthly sit down Q and A.

Danny Albertson: In the wake of all that has changed and transpired within the world of politics during the last several days, I find myself sitting down with the mighty Brett Favre. In this time of change and uncertainty, there is no one else I’d rather have by my side, wading through this political whirlwind, Brett, and I hope all of you readers out there recognize the extreme luxury we all share in spending even the slightest moment with this great man. How are you, Brett?

Brett Favre: I have to tell you, I’m not really feeling like myself. I, like most of you good warm-blooded Americans out there, struggled through watching the Democrats take control on Capitol Hill earlier this week – and I haven’t felt like the same, good ol’ Brett since.

DA: Rather than refer to our mailbag, we’ll just do a one-on-one interview this week, so we can get to the bottom of all the hot topics that have transpired over the past several weeks, without the possibility of losing focus with silly, ridiculous questions that are unrelated to you.

BF: That’s fine with me, Danny. Obviously some of our readers are below me.

DA: I won’t lie to you and say that I’m not concerned for the state of our country. What do you suggest all of the remaining right-minded, god-fearing Americans do?

BF: Just hang in there, guys. That’s what I’m doing. Still reflect the same strength in yourselves that is present in all of our fearless Republicans leaders. We will survive; we will overcome.

DA: How do you think our executive regime will remain the dominant powerhouse that it has been for the last six years, now having to deal with the competition and desires of the Democrats?

BF: Well, this could be tricky. Ole ‘W’ won’t be able to get as much done for us, now, but I think with the right kind of teamwork and focus, we’ll be able to make some political splash plays. Years ago, when we [the Packers] were the best, we flaunted our skills and no one could touch us. George W. Bush has experienced similar things during the past several years – but now that some pieces of his team have been disbanded, he will have to step up and lead us all to the Promised Land and rightful place atop world diplomacy.

DA: You and the President have a lot in common. Both of you share similar political views, and you are both battle tested. Before he named Robert Gates his new Secretary of Defense, did the President contact you about the job opening?

BF: He did. I was glad to hear from him – we hadn’t spent any time together or share any words since we were awarded our doe-huntin’ licenses and went buck wild in Arkansas last winter. He offered me the job – which I told him, ‘I’m an offensive guy, not defensive’ – but I did give him some advice on whom to choose to replace Mr. Rumsfeld.

DA: How do you feel about Rumsfeld’s resignation? And what kind of response or backlash should the people give to the Democrats?

BF: It is a shame that the first thing the filthy Democrats demand is the removal of such a good leader. I feel we should torch the Senate and the House, and set the cities aflame.

DA: I know of your future political plans of running for office alongside your desired running mate Charles Barkley, but would you consider any other position along President Bush’s cabinet, acting as a springboard towards your personal political dominance?

BF: I’ve dominated on every level of competition I’ve been faced with in my life. Though Secretary of Defense isn’t for me, I think I could be an effective Secretary of War, or a war strategist. All talks of exit strategies from Iraq would dissolve, and we would have all out carnage – crushing them. Anyone who disputes our motives and decisions would fall subject to my mighty hand. The United States would reach new heights of political and economic dominance around the world, and all of our leaders and citizens would be remembered as gods.

DA: A likely and progressive outlook. Before I let you go, can you give me some warm, parting words for our readers regarding the loss of one of our field’s most respected reporters, Ed Bradley?

BF: He was a washed-up, old nigger journalist with an earring and a blood disease. He was a figurehead of the libs and an evil tool for the Jews. Who cares?

DA: Well put, I suppose?

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