Lush For Life

“RIEGELWOOD, NC – In a stunning act of God, the Lord we all knew and loved back in the Old Testament times made one hell of a comeback. A tornado that ripped through North Carolina early Thursday morning killed eight people and injured many more. At least 40 mobile homes were destroyed in a surprising [...]

“Young Americans vote in the largest numbers in at least twenty years in congressional elections. Young voters favored Democrats by a 22-point margin. Okay guys, it’s time to forget about Muslims, Unabombers, and Miami Morons (the ones who thought the FBI stooges were al-Qaeda come to help them blow up America for Jesus). This election [...]

“QUANTICO, VA – With voluntary military enrollment numbers declining at an ever-increasing rapid rate, high ranking officials of the United States Marine Corps are attempting to develop new and exciting ways of encouraging the uneducated, hopeless masses of the numb-skulled American youth – and sometimes referred to as The New Hitler Youth of Bushian Rebirth [...]

“MADRID – An international committee consisting of top delegates from the three largest military powers on the planet, Spain, Italy, and France (collectively know as the Three Amigos), have come up with a brilliant plan for a cease-fire agreement between Palestinians and Israel. The plan, codenamed “”Operation Lapdog””, is being hailed by the United Nations [...]

“CRAGFORD, AL – As election results rolled in across the USA, balloons and music soared, and thousands of tons of bunting were not recycled. Candidates wept at the prospect of getting or losing their seat on the gravy train. Misty-eyed idealists cheered the dream of a world where their values and objectives might one day [...]

“What follows are the minutes of a high level LushForLife meeting held at M.I.6 headquarters in London on November 8th, 2006 “”Saddam has done a great job, everyone, and we, the United Countries in the interest of freedom and democracy must thank him for his loyalty to the cause. Those of you who have been [...]

“Aries: Estranged, chubby, trailer park trash super-star Britney Spears will arrive at your door in a panic. She will claim to have had a terrible nightmare where Ed Bradley of 60 Minutes told her to give up being a pop star and start a career as a naughty nurse waitress in Arizona. She will be [...]

In a monthly periodical, you, the readers of LushForLife, can submit questions to Danny Albertson, and he will forward a handful of them to Brett Favre in their monthly sit down Q and A. Danny Albertson: In the wake of all that has changed and transpired within the world of politics during the last several [...]

“TAMPA – As the polls closed, Tuesday night, a somber, depressing fog rolled into Lush For Life headquarters. We all knew that our time had come. The end of the road was in sight, and some of us, the more delusional ones, knew that or demise was of our own doing. Years of bashing, trashing, [...]

“BANNER-ELK, NC – An unidentified motorist is in the hospital tonight, recovering from possible neurological damage after a routine traffic stop turned violent. The deputy involved in the case, Jerry Hicks, described the motorist as wiry and “”hopped up”” on something. “”It was just weird,”” said Hicks. “”He had that shiny jacket zipped all the [...]