US To Withdraw Armed Forces From Iraq

“PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – The video feed is grainy, but the scene can still be deciphered: the North Korean scientists appear to be trying to check up on their recent nuclear test, and instead are getting showered with oil.

In their recent underground nuclear testing, it seems that a Korean worker dug a little too deep, striking Texas Tea under a testing facility near Pyongyang, prompting Koreans to buy luxury cars by the dozen and sport enough bling to make Jay-Z wince.

Kim Jong-Il has finally struck it rich.

George W. “”I Will Not Withdraw Even If Laura And Barney Are The Only Ones Supporting Me”” Bush announced last night that Barney has become bored with the war in Iraq, and a full pull-out of all US military forces will begin on Monday morning. Operation “”No Thanks For The Memories”” will begin at 06h00, local time.

Bush added, “”The Brits and other Coalition Forces can stay if they like, but it’s the President’s job to have ideas. Yes, it’s my job to have good ideas, and I just had a GREAT idea.””

All members of the United States Senate and Congress received midnight deliveries of a document entitled “”Real, actual, authentic, bona fide, genuine WMDs in North Korea.””

Each file was accompanied by a supporting CD of images provided by the CIA. Some photographs show Kim Jong-Il and Osama Bin Laden in lewd poses, in bed together with under-aged Korean girls, while some are screenshots of over-friendly text messages, which the North Korean dictator has been sending to various US Congressional pages.

The rest of each CD is filled with pictures of Barney. That dog is so cute.

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